这年头，为什么总是疯子当道？

今年大选中有位颇具争议的候选人占据了各大版面，令人困惑不解。但我们不懵, 是吧？我们是商界战士，这号人物见多了。他不就是每天早上闯进电梯，直奔被我们称为家的办公室之上，位于30层豪华大办公室的那个家伙么。要不就是走廊那边独占办公室一角，离你工位其实没多远的那人。他就是那个人，当然也可能是她，总之是完全掌控办公室节奏的人。提到他的名字，大家都要压低声音，就像《哈利·波特》里人们谈起大反派伏地魔一样。

简而言之，他是你的疯狂老板。有时可能忍不住想，身边这么多理性、善良，而且明显大脑很正常的人，为什么偏偏让一个奇葩爬到如此高位呢？不过说起来，老板种种的变态行为其实并不是公司的负担，反而是巨大优势。至于这个人应不应该负责更重要的事，就是另外一个话题了。我们先来琢磨一下这个人。

首先，他必然很霸道。其实“霸道”只是他种种令人讨厌的行为的简称。他会大喊大叫，敲桌子，令人不寒而栗。如果没有十足的准备，最好不要跟他争执，对面可是个为达目的不惜撕破脸皮的家伙。屋大维大帝年轻时有一次被敌人激怒，出手就挖出了对方的眼球。这是真事。人们也都害怕史蒂夫·乔布斯。

然而，这种超自然的侵略性不足以消除他强大的恐惧心理，所以他也是个偏执狂。人人都是潜在的敌人。为什么每个人都要跟他对着干？！喂喂！太不公平了。斯大林掌权时，比当他的敌人更危险的，就是当他的朋友。苏联古拉格劳改营里全是他的好哥们。一位凌晨三点还跟斯大林痛饮伏特加的高官，下个星期就成了国家公敌。

疯狂的老板都是毫不犹豫，也没有羞耻感，因为他们都极度自恋，满足自己的需求是最重要的事。在商业世界里，这种品质其实是一种巨大的优势，尤其是当下有种错觉，仿佛有了冲动就一定能成功。别人都在担心不确定性，自恋的人不担心，而且十分确信。这种人眼里自己从不会错，所以也没必要道歉。在他们看来别人只是模糊的概念，是随时可丢弃的棋子。想想流放到厄尔巴岛的拿破仑，天天还做白日梦要杀回法国继续屠杀。再想想2008年的金融危机。很多人的家都要保不住了，还有人卖给他们不良抵押贷款，什么人能干出这样的事？我想你心里很清楚。

并不是说疯狂的老板就没感情。有时他们也会突然感到内心脆弱，躲起来静静疗伤。一边咒骂着，都是坏人！都这么刻薄！你可能会觉得奇怪，这么强大的人也会敏感。但正是这份敏感助长了他的怒气、偏执还有自恋，才能让他重新振作回到战场。

虽然看起来疯狂，但最后也有好消息。因为疯狂老板总会以90英里/小时的速度高速冲向自我毁灭。尼克松有必要偷录下那些谈话？泰科国际的丹尼斯·科兹洛夫斯基真需要6000美元一块的浴帘？至于各种脑袋进水的首席执行官折腾并购，我都懒得列举了。记住我的话，疯狂的老板最终会把他亲手建起的房子拆了。

我们只需要回答一个问题：当房子倒塌的时候，我们想在里面陪着他么？(财富中文网)

译者：Pessy

审校：夏林

People are mystified by the rise of the divisive candidate who has dominated the news of this election cycle. But we’re not, are we? We’re in business. We’ve seen his type before. He’s that intense guy in the elevator each morning, heading to a plush office 30 floors above the one we call home. Or maybe he’s just down the hall in an opulent corner space not too far from your cubicle. He’s the guy—and that guy could well be a ¬woman—who sets the tenor of the place, the one whose name is whispered, like Voldemort’s.

He is, in short, your crazy boss. With all the rational, kind, and obviously more mentally balanced people around who could do the job, it’s natural to wonder how somebody so spectacularly bent got to such a position of power. But his gorgeous bouquet of pathologies is far from a liability in business. Rather, it’s a tremendous asset. Whether or not this person should be placed in charge of a far more serious operation, however, is another issue entirely. So let’s get him in focus.

First, of course, he’s a bully. This word is sort of a stewpot that includes a variety of obnoxious talents. He yells. He pounds the table. He scares people. It’s simply not worth fighting with him unless one is truly prepared to engage with a person who’s willing to rip your face off to get what he wants. The Emperor Augustus, when he was a young man, got so enraged at an adversary that he ripped out his eyeball. True story. People were scared of Steve Jobs too.

This preternatural aggressiveness doesn’t allay his powerful fears, however, so he’s also paranoid. Everybody is a potential enemy. Why is everybody against him?! Come on! So unfair. They say the only thing more dangerous than being Stalin’s enemy, back in the day, was being his friend. The gulags were full of his pals. One week they’d be pounding vodka shots with Stalin at 3 a.m. The next they’d be deemed enemies of the state.

The crazy boss feels no doubt or shame or guilt, because he’s also a narcissist whose needs are the only thing that are truly real to him. This is a powerful asset in the world of commerce—particularly the delusion that one’s compulsions are destiny. Where other men and women are assailed by uncertainties, the narcissist is dead sure. He or she is never wrong, so there’s never any need to apologize. Other people are merely a vague concept, disposable tools. Think of Napoleon on Elba, dreaming of the day he can get back to France and start killing people again. Or consider the crash of 2008. What kind of guys would sell bad mortgages to people whose homes would most certainly be repossessed? I think you know.

That’s not to say the crazy boss has no feelings. Sometimes he’s attacked by a bout of wimpiness and retreats behind closed doors to nurse his wounds. Mean people. So unkind! You wonder how this guy, who’s so very insensitive to others, can be so thin-skinned about himself. But this ultrasensitivity fuels his anger, paranoia, and narcissism and sends him back out into the world once more fresh for battle.

In the end, there is good news of a sort behind all this. Because, inevitably, a crazy boss is always heading at 90 miles per hour down the highway to his own destruction. Did Nixon have to tape all those damning conversations? Did Tyco’s Dennis Kozlowski really need the $6,000 shower curtain? I won’t even mention all the stupid mergers engineered by deluded CEOs during our lifetimes. But take my word for it. Crazy bosses eventually pull the entire house down around them.

The question we have to answer is, Do we want to be in the house with them when it happens?