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生活 - 专栏

真正享受放松的11种方法

Ellen Seidman 2017年08月11日

退出社交媒体,扔掉待办事项清单,让自己真正休息一下。

 

一天晚上,我想窝在沙发里看本书。但首先,我决定把家里收拾一遍。然后,我在厨房柜台处理了一堆邮件。当我拿起一枚曲别针的时候,才发现杂物抽屉一团糟,于是我又整理了一下抽屉。一个半小时后,看到一切又变得井井有条,我感到心满意足,但我已经精疲力尽,不想再看书。

我休息得还不错,因为我正在度假,但在日常生活中,我的任务清单总是排在第一位。亚特兰大压力研究所和用心生活网的创始人兼CEO凯瑟琳·赫尔博士表示:“在工作驱动的文化中,我们认为放松是非生产性活动 — 放松往往变成了完成任务的一种奖励。”问题是,任务是永无休止的。我们的时间排得满满的,任务还在不断增加,所以休闲时间变成了家务时间,也就不足为奇。

但放松休息并不是非生产性的活动;专家表示,放松能让人保持健康和快乐。研究显示,经常释放压力有助于避免心脏病和肥胖,可以缓解抑郁,甚至能提高对感冒的免疫力。另外,当你内心平静时,你能找到更明智、更高效的方法完成任务,从而让你有更多时间去放松。以下是真正放松的一些策略和灵感。

首先,放松身体

如果你的身体总是处在紧张状态,你便很难进入禅境。麻省总医院本森-亨利身心医学研究所所长格雷戈里·弗里基奥内教授表示:“当你的生活中充满了需求,你的身体就会释放出肾上腺素和皮质醇,增加能量消耗,结果导致肌肉紧张。”尝试渐进式肌肉放松法:拉紧脚趾的肌肉至少5秒钟,放松30秒,重复这个过程,一直到颈部和头部的肌肉群。

在通勤期间调整状态

《从内到外管理时间》一书的作者、工作效率专家朱莉·摩根斯顿表示:“如果你毫无压力地走进家门,这会让你快速开始享受晚上的剩余时光。”你乘坐公共交通回家?不要理会电子邮件提醒,尝试一款冥想应用,如Insight Timer、Calm或Stop, Breathe & Think等。“给朋友或爱人打电话,听听音乐或者其他能打断正常思路的活动,都能带来帮助,”摩根斯顿说道。“一位客户发现在下班回家的路上确定放松计划,是一种有效的方式。例如,他会告诉自己:‘我想跟爱人一起做饭,让某某人做家务,不过我会用一种温和的方式提出要求。’”

退出Twitter

美国心理学会的2017年《美国的压力》报告显示,人们查看社交媒体账户、短信和电子邮件越频繁,他们的压力水平就会越高。皮尤研究中心的研究还发现了Facebook的另外一个负面影响:女性因为知道了朋友的不幸遭遇,尤其容易承受社交媒体带来的压力。

“驯服”任务制造者

频繁收拾屋子或庭院的强烈欲望,可能是对周围混乱的一种响应。据华盛顿智库新美国下属的Better Life Lab的主任、《不堪重负》一书的作者布利基德·舒尔特表示:“如果你在工作中备受约束,在家中较为放松,将物品整理得井井有条,似乎可以让你恢复平衡状态。”所有东西都在这里了,是的。要想控制生活失控的感觉,有一种明智的方式:不要到处记录你的任务,如日历、记事本、电子邮件、便条贴,还有大脑的记忆里。摩根斯顿表示:“确定一个可靠的系统,可以帮助你关掉脑子里的待办事项显示系统。”

问自己下面这个问题

哈佛大学心理学教授、正念专家艾琳·兰格博士表示:“当人们假设如果完不成待办事项,他们的世界就会崩塌时,他们应该反问自己。”思考一下:如果你今天晚上没有整理房间,最糟糕的后果会是什么?你今天晚上做的哪件事会让你在五年后回想起来更快乐,整理了衣橱还是与朋友一起喝咖啡?确实如此。

列一份快乐清单

讽刺的是:即便有自由时间从天而降,你可能也不知道该用它来做什么(所以你才会在全食超市里漫无目的地闲逛)。想想哪些事情可以让你真正放松,然后在纸上或手机里列一份清单。舒尔特说道:“我们经常在业余时间里不知所措,因为我们试图找一件最适合的事情去做 — 所以,如果你所列的清单中的某件事情引不起你的兴趣,那就选择其他事情!”

进行散步冥想

不是坐着修禅?摩根斯顿建议的这种练习,能够让你专注于当下,暂时停止思考: 在散步的时候,调动你的感官。注意你的所看(外形有趣的建筑)、所听(树叶沙沙响声)、所感(微风吹拂面庞)。如果身处大自然,还有额外的好处;根据《美国国家科学院院刊》上发表的一项研究,在自然环境下比在市区更有可能减少沉思。

发挥创造力

它可以帮你进入心流状态,在这种状态下,你会全身心沉浸在所做的事情里,其他一切都变成了背景。尝试一下编织,或者风靡一时的成人涂色书,并且要控制住想同时再看一遍《大小谎言》的冲动。

保持探索欲

小时候,我们经常可以在后院里花几个小时到处探索。而成年后,我们变得墨守成规,忘记了探索发现的乐趣。赫尔表示:“探索与制定待办事项清单是截然相反的,后者让你知道了事情的发展方向。”选择一条新鲜的徒步旅行路线或参观一座新的小镇。

不要给自己找台阶

经常与爱人或朋友一起参加有趣的活动,例如每月打一次壁球,或参加烹饪课。舒尔特说道:“你更有可能遵守对他人的承诺。因为这让你别无选择,只能去放松!”少数真正让我放松的一个时刻:每两个月一次的女孩游戏夜,我们一起玩Scattergories游戏,放肆的吃零食,疯狂地大笑。但还是要感谢这些灵感,这让我再也不用等几周时间才能享受一次真正的放松。

别做这些事情

一个人的天堂可能是别人的炼狱。所以,如果你不喜欢这些似乎能让人乐而忘忧的活动,别灰心 — 你并不孤单。

1. 园艺:杂草!昆虫!高温!天哪!

2. 在床上吃早餐:如果你总是担心橙汁洒在杯子上,这件事并没有想象中那么美好。

3. 洗澡:理论上会令人愉悦,但实际上,水会很快变冷,我们会被瓷砖上的霉菌分散注意力,而且经常会把书掉到水里。

4. 按摩:揉捏紧张的肌肉?有人或许觉得这是一种享受,但有人会觉得很痛苦。

5. 购物:只有更衣室里照明异常充足的时候,我们才会觉得购物是一种享受。

6. 在星期天早上读报纸:感谢政治让我血压升高。(财富中文网)

本文最初发表于Health.com。

译者:刘进龙/汪皓

The other night, I meant to chill on the couch with a book. First, though, I decided to neaten up the family room. On a roll, I then tackled a pile of mail on the kitchen counter. When I went to grab a paper clip, I noticed our junk drawer was a disaster, so I organized that. An hour and a half later, I felt content to see everything in its place…and too zonked to read.

I relax just fine when I’m away on vacation, but in daily life, my to-dos come first. “In our work-driven culture, we perceive relaxation as nonproductive—it often becomes a reward for getting stuff done,” says Kathleen Hall, PhD, founder and CEO of the Stress Institute in Atlanta and the Mindful Living Network. Trouble is, the tasks are never-ending (hashtag Sisyphus). Add in a jam-packed schedule and it’s no wonder leisure time morphs into chore time.

Yet kicking back is hardly an unproductive activity; experts say that it keeps us healthy and happy. And research shows that regular de-stressing can help ward off heart disease and obesity, act as a buffer against depression, and even boost immunity against colds. Plus, when you’re calm, you perform tasks smarter and more efficiently, leaving you with time to—wait for it—relax. Check out these strategies and inspiration for R in R: relaxing in reality.

First, relax your body

It’s hard to sink into a state of zen if you’re one big ball of knots. “When you live a life full of demands, your body regularly releases adrenaline and cortisol, increasing energy expenditure that can result in muscle tension,” says Gregory Fricchione, MD, director of the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital. Try progressive muscle relaxation: Tense the muscles in your toes for at least five seconds, relax for 30, and repeat, working your way through the muscle groups up to your neck and head.

Downshift during your commute

“If you walk in the door decompressed, it gives you a jump-start for the rest of the evening,” says productivity expert Julie Morgenstern, author of Time Management from the Inside Out. Do you take public transportation home? Resist the siren call of email and try a meditation app, such as Insight Timer, Calm, or Stop, Breathe & Think . “Call a friend or loved one, listen to music—any activity that breaks you out of your normal train of thought should help,” says Morgenstern. “One client found it effective to set his relaxation intentions on his way home from work. He’d tell himself, ‘I want to enjoy cooking with my partner and make sure so-and-so does homework, but I’ll ask in a gentle way,’ and so on.”

Log off Twitter

The more often people check social media accounts, texts, and email, the higher their level of stress, revealed the American Psychological Association’s 2017 Stress in America report. Findings from the Pew Research Center underline another negative Facebook effect: Women are particularly vulnerable to stress from social media due to being aware of lousy stuff happening to friends.

Tame your taskmaker

An urge to continually tidy up the house or yard may be a response to chaos all around you. According to Brigid Schulte, director of the Better Life Lab at the Washington, D.C., think tank New America and author of Overwhelmed , “When you’re strapped at work and stretched at home, having things in order can seemingly restore equilibrium.” All together now: Yes. This. One sane way to tame that life-is-out-of-control feeling: Quit scattering tasks among your calendar, notepads, emails, sticky notes, and memory. Says Morgenstern, “Decide on a single, reliable system, and it will help turn off the ticker tape of to-dos in your brain.”

Ask yourself this

“When people assume that if they don’t get to their to-dos, their world will fall apart, that needs to be questioned,” says mindfulness expert Ellen Langer, PhD, professor of psychology at Harvard University. Reason with yourself: What’s the worst that will happen if you don’t declutter tonight? Five years from now, will you be happier that you excavated the coat closet or that you had coffee with a friend? Exactly.

Make a joy list

Oh, the irony: Even when free time falls into your lap, you may have no clue what to do with it (which is how you end up roaming around Whole Foods). Think about what truly mellows you out, then make a list on paper or in your phone. Notes Schulte, “We often get stuck during leisure time because we try to choose the exact perfect thing to do—so if one thing on your list doesn’t appeal, pick something else!”

Do a walking meditation

Not the sit-and-zen-out type? Here’s an exercise from Morgenstern that still gets you in the moment and out of your head: As you stroll, engage your senses. Note what you see (buildings with interesting shapes), what you hear (the rustling of leaves), and what you feel (the breeze on your face). Bonus points if you’re out in nature; it’s more likely to decrease rumination than being in an urban area, per a study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Get creative

It can help you achieve flow, a state in which you’re so mindfully immersed in what you’re doing that all else recedes into the background. Try your hand at knitting or check out one of those ubiquitous adult coloring books—and resist the urge to simultaneously rewatch Big Little Lies.

Wonder and wander

As kids, we’d lose ourselves for hours poking around in our backyards. As adults, we get stuck in routines and miss out on how captivating discovery can be. “Exploring is the opposite of making to-do lists, where you know exactly where things are headed,” says Hall. Hit a fresh hiking trail or visit a new town.

Don’t give yourself an out

Commit to a regular enjoyable activity, like a monthly racquetball game or cooking class, with your partner or friends. “You’re more likely to follow through on a commitment to someone else than to yourself,” notes Schulte. “It leaves you no choice but to relax!” One of the rare times when I truly unwind: my bimonthly girls’ game night, where we play Scattergories, snack extensively, and laugh our heads off. But thanks to all this inspiration, I no longer have to wait weeks to relax for real.

Don’t do these things

One person’s nirvana is another person’s noooo. If you don’t enjoy these supposedly blissful activities, take heart—you’re not alone.

1. Gardening: Weeds! Bugs! Heat! Ugh!

2. Breakfast in bed:Not so chill when we have to worry about spilling OJ all over the comforter.

3. Taking a bath: Lovely in theory, but in reality, the water gets cold fast, we get distracted by mold on the tile, and the book always falls in.

4. Massages: Kneading tense muscles? Pleasant to some, painful to the rest of us.

5. Shopping: Enjoyable only until we hit the overly lit dressing rooms.

6. Reading the paper on Sunday morning: Thanks, politics, for the blood pressure spike.

This article originally appeared on Health.com

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