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如何扮演好人生中的不同角色?一位“四胎”母亲告诉你

如何扮演好人生中的不同角色?一位“四胎”母亲告诉你

Emily McEvilly 2022-01-07
面对困境的时候,重要的是不要过于苛责自己。

Workday公司的首席客户官艾米丽·麦克维利在2021年10月召开的《财富》最具影响力的商界女性峰会(Fortune Most Powerful Women Summit)上发言。图片来源:STUART ISETT —— FORTUNE MPW

过去两年,我一直在努力平衡一系列对我而言最重要的事情——一方面是保证业务连续性,另一方面是要支持员工不断变化的需求,同时还要管理好个人生活的变化。家庭和工作之间的界限不可避免地用一种我们难以想象的方式交织在一起,而领导力的性质也因此发生了变化。

在回顾我的领导历程时,我回想起2020年年初担任Workday的首个首席客户官职位时的情形。当时,我们希望以较为传统的客户互动为基础实现雄心勃勃的目标,但我们很快意识到客户体验不只是面对面的协作。

了解人生中需要扮演的不同角色

担任首席客户官不久之后,我意识到成功的关键在于解决意料之外的挑战,与此同时,面对生活中许多事情相互交织的时刻要坚守本心,始终尊重那些从各个方面成就和塑造我们生而为人的那些原则。在新冠疫情爆发之初,我和我领导的团队负责帮助客户响应和适应周围快速变化的环境,许多客户都是一线工作者。与此同时,在家里,我是有四个孩子的职场妈妈,还要帮助照顾我的母亲,在个人生活中也需要我取得平衡。我母亲当时住在一家辅助生活机构,在她最需要家人陪伴的时候,却不得不执行社交隔离。

照顾母亲这件事情对我产生了深远影响。五年前,我们将母亲从美国肯塔基州的农场搬到了我家附近的一家辅助生活机构。虽然她很喜欢来我家看望她的四个外孙,也喜欢我们家养的各种宠物,但她从未想过离开她的农场,所以搬家的时候她非常伤心,尽管我们知道这是对她而言最好的选择。新冠疫情爆发之后,事情变得更加复杂。她不能在餐厅与朋友一起用餐,不能乘坐大巴观看赛马,也无法在周日与家人聚餐。母亲被困在一居室公寓里无法外出,我可以看到她的精神和健康状况每况愈下。不幸的是,她的身体状况持续恶化,2021年早些时候不幸逝世。

在这段时间,我发现自己来到了一个人生的十字路口。我问自己:“我如何才能够做到每天都可以出现在团队和家人面前?”我很快就意识到在扮演母亲、女儿和团队领导者等不同角色时,区隔化的重要性以及面对人生中许多事情相互交织的时刻坚守本心的必要性。它也让我意识到,我们都在用全新的、不同的方式来应对生活中的复杂局面。

因此,我开始严格遵照以下指导原则,以帮助激励自己的行动,指导我每天如何呈现自己:

站在他人的角度

站在他人角度思考问题的能力是最重要的领导品质之一,但它本身也是最难从他人那里学会的技能之一。我的职业生涯大多数从事的都是以客户为中心的岗位,因此我在职业初期从“基层”首次进入企业管理岗位时就得到了这方面的教训。在与公司同事密切合作一段时间之后,我很快知道并且理解了他们面临的复杂状况、挑战和微妙之处。回到基层之后,我变得更有同理心,能够更好地指导一线团队,使双方可以更加精诚合作。

即使到今天,无论是帮助员工解决他们所面临的工作生活挑战,还是处理客户出现的状况,我依旧会依靠同理心来指导自己的行动。我们在生活中会面临各种各样的问题,很容易转向只关注自己的内心。但我们必须记住,同理心能够带来巨大的回报。

进行开诚布公的对话

这一点同样需要理解沟通的细微差别。当然,任何可靠的沟通指南都会提到沟通要清晰、要简明扼要、要使用正确的工具等。这些都非常重要,但真实的和有目的的沟通不仅可以提高员工的积极性和绩效,还能够创建不同的关系。例如,当你开诚布公地与客户沟通时,你呈现给客户的形象是实事求是,是共同解决手头的问题,而不是依靠头脑中已有的解决方案。在职场中,如果领导团队可以展现出真实的一面,就能够为团队创造一种氛围,让他们愿意展现真实的自己。我有三个十几岁的小女儿,所以当前对我来说最重要的是帮助她们树立自信,通过了解自身那些美好的独特之处来认可自己。

正如我前面所说,任何人的生活都错综复杂,都需要考虑如何同时扮演好不同的角色。双向沟通意味着不要假设对方和他们的感受。双向沟通需要真心倾听对方的需求,积极参与对话并采取行动,为对方提供最大的支持。比如,经常有人问我Workday如何保持如此高的客户满意度(我们的年度内部调查显示,到目前为止十多年的客户满意度始终维持在95%以上):“你们是对一切要求都说‘是’吗?”首先,我们的文化和核心价值观让我们始终将最重要的事情作为立足点,并为员工和客户维持正确的愿景。其次,我们会积极响应并认真倾听客户的诉求。我们会在可以做到的时候给出肯定回答,如果做不到,我们就会开诚布公地向客户解释原因,同时努力找到折中的策略。

善待自己

我想大家都同意说起来容易做起来难这句话,而且我们往往是对自己最严厉的批评者。但在当前经历巨变的过程中,重要的是我们应该给自己放个假。作为有四个孩子的职场妈妈,而且我还要经常出差,因此我经常感觉有某些事情做的不够好。这种感觉在新冠疫情期间被进一步放大。我有没有给孩子足够多的帮助?有没有足够多地去探望母亲?有没有给团队提供足够多的支持?最终的结果是,我在每件事情上都始终无法做到100%投入。

考虑到这一点,我意识到面对困境的时候,重要的是不要过于苛责自己。虽然说起来容易做起来难,但我还是会尽量专注于我能够控制的事情:“好好吃饭。喝水。锻炼身体。读书。睡觉。”重新做好这些简单的事情就是我善待自己的方式,也是我确保用最好的状态对待身边人的一种方式。

捕捉神奇的时刻

过去两年,我们都在努力适应生活中的变化。无论你正在从事基层工作、正在照顾心爱的人还是正感觉孤独,我都希望这些指导原则可以帮助人们看清前方的道路。过去两年,有许多鼓舞人心的创新和友情时刻。我希望我们能够记住,我们如何凭着一种紧迫感团结一心,最重要的是如何相互扶持,让自己和其他人的生活发生改变,希望我们可以铭记这些神奇的时刻。(财富中文网)

本文作者艾米丽·麦克维利是Workday公司的首席客户官。

译者:刘进龙

审校:汪皓

过去两年,我一直在努力平衡一系列对我而言最重要的事情——一方面是保证业务连续性,另一方面是要支持员工不断变化的需求,同时还要管理好个人生活的变化。家庭和工作之间的界限不可避免地用一种我们难以想象的方式交织在一起,而领导力的性质也因此发生了变化。

在回顾我的领导历程时,我回想起2020年年初担任Workday的首个首席客户官职位时的情形。当时,我们希望以较为传统的客户互动为基础实现雄心勃勃的目标,但我们很快意识到客户体验不只是面对面的协作。

了解人生中需要扮演的不同角色

担任首席客户官不久之后,我意识到成功的关键在于解决意料之外的挑战,与此同时,面对生活中许多事情相互交织的时刻要坚守本心,始终尊重那些从各个方面成就和塑造我们生而为人的那些原则。在新冠疫情爆发之初,我和我领导的团队负责帮助客户响应和适应周围快速变化的环境,许多客户都是一线工作者。与此同时,在家里,我是有四个孩子的职场妈妈,还要帮助照顾我的母亲,在个人生活中也需要我取得平衡。我母亲当时住在一家辅助生活机构,在她最需要家人陪伴的时候,却不得不执行社交隔离。

照顾母亲这件事情对我产生了深远影响。五年前,我们将母亲从美国肯塔基州的农场搬到了我家附近的一家辅助生活机构。虽然她很喜欢来我家看望她的四个外孙,也喜欢我们家养的各种宠物,但她从未想过离开她的农场,所以搬家的时候她非常伤心,尽管我们知道这是对她而言最好的选择。新冠疫情爆发之后,事情变得更加复杂。她不能在餐厅与朋友一起用餐,不能乘坐大巴观看赛马,也无法在周日与家人聚餐。母亲被困在一居室公寓里无法外出,我可以看到她的精神和健康状况每况愈下。不幸的是,她的身体状况持续恶化,2021年早些时候不幸逝世。

在这段时间,我发现自己来到了一个人生的十字路口。我问自己:“我如何才能够做到每天都可以出现在团队和家人面前?”我很快就意识到在扮演母亲、女儿和团队领导者等不同角色时,区隔化的重要性以及面对人生中许多事情相互交织的时刻坚守本心的必要性。它也让我意识到,我们都在用全新的、不同的方式来应对生活中的复杂局面。

因此,我开始严格遵照以下指导原则,以帮助激励自己的行动,指导我每天如何呈现自己:

站在他人的角度

站在他人角度思考问题的能力是最重要的领导品质之一,但它本身也是最难从他人那里学会的技能之一。我的职业生涯大多数从事的都是以客户为中心的岗位,因此我在职业初期从“基层”首次进入企业管理岗位时就得到了这方面的教训。在与公司同事密切合作一段时间之后,我很快知道并且理解了他们面临的复杂状况、挑战和微妙之处。回到基层之后,我变得更有同理心,能够更好地指导一线团队,使双方可以更加精诚合作。

即使到今天,无论是帮助员工解决他们所面临的工作生活挑战,还是处理客户出现的状况,我依旧会依靠同理心来指导自己的行动。我们在生活中会面临各种各样的问题,很容易转向只关注自己的内心。但我们必须记住,同理心能够带来巨大的回报。

进行开诚布公的对话

这一点同样需要理解沟通的细微差别。当然,任何可靠的沟通指南都会提到沟通要清晰、要简明扼要、要使用正确的工具等。这些都非常重要,但真实的和有目的的沟通不仅可以提高员工的积极性和绩效,还能够创建不同的关系。例如,当你开诚布公地与客户沟通时,你呈现给客户的形象是实事求是,是共同解决手头的问题,而不是依靠头脑中已有的解决方案。在职场中,如果领导团队可以展现出真实的一面,就能够为团队创造一种氛围,让他们愿意展现真实的自己。我有三个十几岁的小女儿,所以当前对我来说最重要的是帮助她们树立自信,通过了解自身那些美好的独特之处来认可自己。

正如我前面所说,任何人的生活都错综复杂,都需要考虑如何同时扮演好不同的角色。双向沟通意味着不要假设对方和他们的感受。双向沟通需要真心倾听对方的需求,积极参与对话并采取行动,为对方提供最大的支持。比如,经常有人问我Workday如何保持如此高的客户满意度(我们的年度内部调查显示,到目前为止十多年的客户满意度始终维持在95%以上):“你们是对一切要求都说‘是’吗?”首先,我们的文化和核心价值观让我们始终将最重要的事情作为立足点,并为员工和客户维持正确的愿景。其次,我们会积极响应并认真倾听客户的诉求。我们会在可以做到的时候给出肯定回答,如果做不到,我们就会开诚布公地向客户解释原因,同时努力找到折中的策略。

善待自己

我想大家都同意说起来容易做起来难这句话,而且我们往往是对自己最严厉的批评者。但在当前经历巨变的过程中,重要的是我们应该给自己放个假。作为有四个孩子的职场妈妈,而且我还要经常出差,因此我经常感觉有某些事情做的不够好。这种感觉在新冠疫情期间被进一步放大。我有没有给孩子足够多的帮助?有没有足够多地去探望母亲?有没有给团队提供足够多的支持?最终的结果是,我在每件事情上都始终无法做到100%投入。

考虑到这一点,我意识到面对困境的时候,重要的是不要过于苛责自己。虽然说起来容易做起来难,但我还是会尽量专注于我能够控制的事情:“好好吃饭。喝水。锻炼身体。读书。睡觉。”重新做好这些简单的事情就是我善待自己的方式,也是我确保用最好的状态对待身边人的一种方式。

捕捉神奇的时刻

过去两年,我们都在努力适应生活中的变化。无论你正在从事基层工作、正在照顾心爱的人还是正感觉孤独,我都希望这些指导原则可以帮助人们看清前方的道路。过去两年,有许多鼓舞人心的创新和友情时刻。我希望我们能够记住,我们如何凭着一种紧迫感团结一心,最重要的是如何相互扶持,让自己和其他人的生活发生改变,希望我们可以铭记这些神奇的时刻。(财富中文网)

本文作者艾米丽·麦克维利是Workday公司的首席客户官。

译者:刘进龙

审校:汪皓

The past two years have been a balancing act of “firsts”—from ensuring business continuity, to supporting employees’ evolving needs, to managing personal life changes, and more. Inevitably, the lines of home and work have intersected in ways we could’ve never imagined—and with that, the very nature of leadership has changed.

When I reflect on my own leadership path, I think back to early 2020 when I was starting a new role as Workday’s first-ever chief customer officer. At the time, we were looking to tackle ambitious goals based on more traditional customer interactions, but very quickly, we realized that our customer experience needed to embody much more than face-to-face collaboration.

Understanding intersections

Not long after I became chief customer officer, I learned that success hinges on navigating unforeseen challenges, while staying true to life’s many intersections—consistently honoring the different pieces that make us who we are and shape how we show up in all aspects of life. At the start of the pandemic, my team and I were responsible for helping customers—many on the front lines—respond and adapt to the quickly changing environment around all of us. At the same time, at home, I was personally balancing being a working mother of four, and helping take care of my mother, who had to practice social distancing in an assisted living facility during a time when she needed family the most.

Caring for her made an everlasting impact on me. Five years ago, we moved my mother off her Kentucky farm into an assisted living apartment near my home. While she always enjoyed visiting my family, her four grandkids, and our variety of pets, she never intended to leave her farm, and doing so broke her heart, even though we knew it was the best option for her. When the pandemic hit, it complicated things further—no meals in the dining hall with her friends, no bus trips to the horse track, no Sunday dinners with family. My mother was confined to her one-bedroom apartment, and I could see her spirit and her health slipping away. Unfortunately, her health continued to decline, and she passed away earlier 2021.

During this time, I found myself at a crossroads, asking myself questions like, “How can I show up for my team every day, while also showing up for my family?” I quickly learned the importance of compartmentalization and the need to stay true to all of life’s many intersections—as a mother, a daughter, a team leader, and so much more. It also made me realize that we are all navigating life’s complexities in new and different ways.

As a result, I’ve leaned closely on the following guiding principles to help inspire my actions and how I show up every day for myself and for others:

Put yourself in others’ shoes

The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is one of the most important leadership qualities, yet inherently one of the hardest skills to teach. As someone who spent most of my career in customer-focused roles, this lesson rang true earlier in my career, when I moved away from the “front line” and into a corporate role for the first time. After working closely with my corporate counterparts, I quickly learned and understood the complexities, challenges, and nuances that they faced—and when I returned to the field, I was able to better empathize and guide my frontline teams so both sides could work together more cohesively.

Still today, whether I’m helping employees navigate their own work/life challenges or managing situations with customers, I rely on empathy to help guide my interactions. We are all dealing with so much in our lives, and it can be easy to turn inwards. But we must remember that the rewards of empathy are unparalleled.

Have an open dialogue

It’s also about appreciating the nuances of communication. Of course, any solid communication guide talks about being clear, concise, using the right tools, etc. While all of those are very important, authentic and intentional communication not only improves team dynamics and performance but also creates a different relationship. For example, when you are authentic and open with customers, you show up without pretenses, you show up to collectively solve the issue at hand, not with the solution in your mind. In the workplace, when a leadership team demonstrates authenticity, it opens the door to their team to feel comfortable in showing up as they truly are. And wow…Having three teenage girls at home, there is nothing more important to me than helping them feel comfortable in their skin, and owning who they are across the spectrum of all the beautiful things that make them unique.

As previously mentioned, everyone is living complex lives and has their own intersections to consider. Two-way communication means not making assumptions about people and what they are feeling. It means truly listening to the individual needs of others, engaging in a conversation, and then taking action in a way that best supports them. For example, I often get asked how Workday maintains such a high customer satisfaction rating (it’s been over 95% for more than a decade now, according to our annual internal surveys): “Do you just say ‘yes’ to everything?” First off, our culture and core values continue to keep us grounded in what matters most and enable us to sustain the right vision for our employees and our customers. At the next level down, we are responsive, and we listen intently to our customers. We say “yes” when we can, but when we can’t, we are transparent in explaining exactly why, while working really hard to try and meet them in the middle.

Be kind to yourself

I think we can all agree it’s easier said than done and that oftentimes, we’re our own worst critics. But in a time of so much change, it’s important we give ourselves a break. As a working—and often traveling—mother of four, I often feel there’s something I’m not doing well enough. That feeling was amplified during the pandemic. Was I helping my kids enough? Was I seeing my mother enough? Was I supporting my team enough? At the end of the day, it’s impossible to be 100% on everything all the time.

With that in mind, I’ve learned it’s important to not be so hard on yourself in tough situations. It’s easier said than done, but for me I try and focus on the things I can control: “Eat well. Drink water. Work out. Read. Sleep.” Coming back to these simple steps is how I stay kind to myself, and how I ensure I’m at my best for those around me too.

Capture the magic

We have all done our best to navigate life’s dynamics over the past two years. Whether they’re working on the front lines, caring for a loved one, or feeling isolated at times, I hope these guiding principles can help others see through what lies ahead. Over the past two years, there have been many moments of inspiring innovation and comradery. My hope is that we can capture the magic of how we have all come together with a sense of urgency—but most importantly to support one another—to drive change and make a difference in our own lives and those of others.

Emily McEvilly is the chief customer officer of Workday.

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