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职场怒火扑救指南

Shelley DuBois 2011年11月18日

想要一泄心头怒火,对着同事大发脾气并非良策,负面情绪反而会因此而暴涨。其实处理愤怒情绪还有很多其他方法。

    许多公司的层级制度使员工感到束手束脚,因此上班时发泄怒火就成了司空见惯的事。很少有人喜欢和别人就某一问题而针锋相对,特别是如果挑起事端的是公司里的权威人物。相反,人们喜欢找关系不错的人来发泄一通,原因是他们大多会同意自己的想法。然而,不幸的是,向信任的诉苦只会让我们的怒火燃烧得更久。

    “危险在于,当你的负面情绪得到了认可,你就可能变成‘牢骚精’,”贝尔法说,“牢骚精”是另一种办公室人格,比休息室“破坏者”更恶劣。

    贝尔法发现,要避免给一个正在发脾气的人火上浇油,最好是针对不利情况提出一个全新的见解,或者帮助他重新分析环境,使他相信问题也许没有想象的那么严重。

    处理这样一种激烈的情绪,最好的方法是给它降降温,或许这一点与现在全球变暖的趋势背道而驰。劝说气头上的人冷静下来有助于释放发泄者的愤怒情绪,避免发泄者做出冲动的行为。事实上,在几年前,脱口秀节目《观点》(The View)的制作人曾有意邀请布西曼作为嘉宾,为该节目四位暴躁的女主持人传授发泄怒火的最佳方法。布西曼向这位制作人坦言,他不愿意这样做。他说,处理愤怒的最佳途径不是发泄也不是压抑,而是正确地疏导、缓和愤怒的情绪。

    从一数到十是个不错的方法;除此之外,也可以把愤怒的情绪转移到其他活动上,比如填字游戏,或一些即使是最火爆的“暴脾气”也无法燃起怒火的事情,比如抚摸抚摸小狗。

    但这位制作人称,这些活动无助于提高收视率,布西曼因此并没有受邀参加这档节目。

    但相比对着同事大发脾气而言,布西曼的方法却是应对愤怒的良策。所以,下次你因为休息室一片狼藉打算找个同事发牢骚时,最好找一个视角独到的人,或者找一个能帮你冷静下来的人。要不然,就带几只小狗在身边吧。

    译者:富来细特\汪皓

    Venting at work is particularly prevalent because the hierarchy at many offices can make people feel like their hands are tied. Very few among us enjoy confronting someone with an issue, especially if the issue stems from an authority figure. Instead, most of us vent to likeable people who tend to agree with us. Unfortunately, complaining to people that we trust can keep our anger alive longer.

    "The danger is that if you get a response that confirms a negative emotion, you can become a brooder," Behfar says. The brooder: another negative office personality, perhaps even worse than break room mess guy.

    The best way to keep from egging on an upset person, Behfar found, is to offer a new take on a frustrating situation, or provide context that can help convince a co-worker that the problem isn't that big of a deal.

    It's a rather anti-climatic way to cope with such a powerful feeling, and being told to calm down can deflate the rush that comes with feeling angry, which some people like. In fact, a couple of years ago, a producer for talk show The View called Bushman as a potential guest who would teach four angry women, the show's hosts, how best to vent. That would be the worst thing he could do, Bushman told the producer. The best way to deal with anger isn't to vent it or bottle it, he said, but address the emotion and then tone it down.

    Some good methods include counting to 10, diverting angry thoughts with an activity such as a crossword puzzle, or doing something that makes it hard for even the biggest hot heads to stay enraged, like petting a puppy.

    Those activities would not make for good television, the producer said, and Bushman was not invited on the show.

    But the tactics Bushman suggested can be more productive ways to address anger than merely letting it all out to a colleague. So the next time you want to tell your co-worker about the coffee room disaster zone, make sure you find someone who will offer you new insight, or just tell you to calm down. That, or keep plenty of puppies handy.

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