但在你开始邀请同事共赴午餐、晚餐和“找乐子”前，不妨先花点时间了解一下公司同事的交往现状，看看他们是建立、加深友谊的模式。

    “感觉你和某个人有联系，会带来不同。它是幸福之源，”《新领导人的百日行动计划》（The New Leader's 100 Day Action Plan）一书的作者、顾问乔治•布莱特表示。不过，“如果你进了一家人们不吃午餐的公司，却开始邀请人们共进午餐，那就是在自找麻烦。”

    例如，有家瑞士大银行的一位经理转到澳大利亚办公室工作后，希望给同事留个好印象，于是邀请所有人出席一场晚上7-8点钟的晚宴会议。结果遭到了整个团队的拒绝，人们说：“我们5点就下班了。”阿克回忆说：“这位领导只能全面改变领导风格。”

    “在有些公司里，下班后请直接上司去喝一杯是件好事，”布莱特同意。“但在另外一些公司里，就不太适合。你请他们喝酒，会让他们无法和家人团聚。还不如在早上请他们喝咖啡或中午一起吃午餐。”

    布莱特说，可以问问人们是如何互动的，了解一个公司的文化，但也要留意人们的回答是否准确。慢慢地，一位有决心的领导人最终可以改变企业文化，让它整体变得更具社会支持力。

    如果拿不准，从为同事提供专业支持做起总错不了。阿克说：“一旦你开始邀请人们与你碰面，或者开始在工作中帮助他们，你就改变了交往模式。”

    身处男性主导行业中的女性尤其可能在工作中被孤立，常驻纽约的职业发展教练米歇尔•弗莱德曼表示：“感到被孤立的人……在参与度和生产率方面都表现不佳。”

    比如，有些母亲就不愿在工作场合聊他们的孩子，担心会被贴上标签或看轻，难以与同事真正打成一片。

    “工作场合的纽带往往源于人与人之间的共同点。可以是一起努力的一个项目，或者共同处理的一宗案子或交易，”她说。“更深层次的纽带是你感觉自己和这整个人都有关系；而不仅仅是他的职业领域。”

    译者：老榆木

    But before you start inviting colleagues to lunch, dinner, and happy hour, take a moment to understand the importance of context. Look at how people in your organization create and deepen friendships.

    "Feeling like you're connected to someone else makes a difference, it's the root of happiness," says George Bradt, a consultant and author of The New Leader's 100 Day Action Plan. Still, "if you go into an organization and start inviting people to lunch in a place where people don't do lunch, you're in trouble."

    For instance, a manager at a large Swiss bank moved to the company'sAustraliaoffice and wanted to make a good impact by inviting everyone to a dinner meeting at 7 or 8 p.m. The team actually refused, saying, "We're done by 5." "That leader had to completely change his leadership style," Achor recalls.

    "In some organizations, inviting your direct reports out for drinks after the workday is a good thing," Bradt agrees. "In others it's an insult because you're making them drink and taking them away from their family. You have to take them out for coffee in the morning or lunch."

    You can learn about an organization's culture by asking questions about how people interact, but you must also observe whether the answers to those questions are accurate, he says. Over time, a determined leader can shift the culture to being more socially supportive overall.

    When in doubt, you can always begin by offering professional support to colleagues. "As soon as you start asking people to meet up with you or helping people with their work, you change the social script," Achor says.

    Women in male-dominated industries are particularly at risk of being socially isolated at work, notes Michelle Friedman, a professional development coach based in theNew York Cityarea. "The ones who feel isolated ... suffer in terms of engagement and productivity," Friedman says.

    Some mothers, for instance, resist talking about their kids at work for fear of being typecast or discounted, which keeps them from truly connecting with co-workers.

    "Workplace bonds generally form around things that people have in common. It can be working on a project together or if you're on a case or deal together," she says. "The deeper bonds I've seen are where you feel the bond is with the whole person; it's not just on the professional level."