Whenever a relationship ends, whether in a romantic or business context, an in-person conversation is best, says Shawn Graham, a small business consultant and author of Courting Your Career.
But looking back, Bartz may actually come to appreciate the silver lining of being fired over the phone: she didn't have to worry about her facial expressions or non-verbal cues. "As much as we feel we'd be slighted if we were let go by phone or text, it's got its upside," Graham says. "Not having to control your emotions and non-verbal reactions while your boss and someone from HR are staring at you blankly can be an advantage."
If you feel like following Bartz's example, remember the sage advice to write a letter to a person you feel has wronged you, but put it in a drawer overnight so that you have a chance to think. "You don't want to sound like the jilted lover," he says. "Nothing good is going to come out of it. You say your two cents and it will probably just come off as bitter. You aren't going to get that job back."
Look at the respect people lost for Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert over his scathing open letter to LeBron James, calling his decision to join the Miami Heat a "cowardly betrayal" and accusing James of narcissism and selfishness.
In this connected age, you don't have to post a missive on a website for everyone to learn about it. So think through your actions first, says Graham. And when you do reach out to former colleagues and business contacts, figure out what you want to accomplish in those conversations. Just to stay in touch? Network your way to a new job?
"Let them know it's okay to be in touch. It's awkward and they may feel uncomfortable," he says. "If you can make them feel at ease, that can help create a dialogue."
