美国企业中，老板向员工致谢似乎司空见惯。根据人力资源管理协会（Society for Human Resource Management）的数据，有近80%的雇主都执行某种形式的员工感谢计划。
威奇托心理学家、《工作场合五种表达赞赏的语言》（The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace）合著者保罗·怀特称：“我跟员工们聊他们公司的员工感谢计划时，很多人都表现出不屑和讥讽。他们能够分清什么是真心实意的欣赏和感激，什么是走走形式。”
“致谢成功的第一要义是要真正了解将要致谢的对象或团队，”《工作场合致谢：如何说谢谢，给予奖励，发挥团队最大潜能》（Gratitude at Work: How to Say Thank You, Give Kudos, and Get the Best From Those You Lead）一书的作者阿普丽尔·凯利说。
马萨诸塞州伯灵顿Davies Murphy Group的市场营销负责人瑞贝卡·布罗因和她的团队最近被叫到公司外开会，到了后发现是在知名海鲜餐厅Legal Seafood喝红酒吃大餐，每位团队成员还获得了一张公司给的500美元借记卡。“这样的致谢真是太棒了：诚挚，亲切，又令人惊喜，”布罗因回忆道，她说团队里的10位女士都喜欢购物和外出吃饭。“这真是想到我们心里去了。最后，我们都把钱花在了百货商店诺德斯特龙（Nordstrom）的售鞋区，没一个人抱怨。”
无独有偶，房地产和税务规划公司的老板约翰·麦克马纳斯考虑如何感谢公司的一名财富顾问时，决定送这位员工去魁北克一家具有欧洲古典风格的酒店Le Chateau Frontenac度假。这位雇员的孩子们与麦克马纳斯的孩子们年龄相仿，而麦克马纳斯的孩子们非常喜欢曾经的加拿大度假。而且，这位雇员是在一个同样引人入胜的欧洲古城布拉格遇见了她生于欧洲的丈夫。麦克马纳斯说：“这种联系对她有更深的意义。”
Employee appreciation may seem common in corporate America. Almost 80% of employers offer some kind of employee recognition program, according to the Society for Human Resource Management.
Yet workers feel unappreciated -- a whopping 71% are disengaged, according to Gallup. What gives?
"When I talk to workers about their employee recognition programs, there's a lot of disdain and cynicism," says Paul White, a Wichita-based psychologist and co-author of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. "They distinguish between authentic appreciation and going through the motions."
Employers and managers may think they're showing gratitude for the contributions of their staff, but more often than not, those thanks are not heard or believed. If you're trying to bridge the gap this Thanksgiving, you can start with these steps recommended by White and other experts on workplace thanks.
Make it personal
Employers like to brag about the $25 gift cards they give to their employees, or staff celebrations and team-building exercises. But for a thank-you to be perceived as meaningful, it should be specifically connected to the recipient, her preferences, and her accomplishments.
"The number one thing that will make you successful in gratitude is really knowing the person or team that's going to be thanked," says April Kelly, Omaha-based author of Gratitude at Work: How to Say Thank You, Give Kudos, and Get the Best From Those You Lead.
Rebecca Blouin, marketing lead at Burlington, Mass.-based Davies Murphy Group, recently received a summons to an off-site meeting with her team, only to show up to a wine-fueled lunch at Legal Seafood and a $500 debit card for each team member, on the company. "It was a great gesture: heartfelt, kind, and a good surprise," Blouin recalls, noting that the 10 women on the team all love shopping and dining. "It was spot-on for the group of people. We all ended up in Nordstrom's at the shoe area and there was not one person complaining."
Similarly, when John McManus was looking for a way to thank one of the wealth advisors at his estate and tax-planning firm for pushing through a recent deluge of work, he decided on a trip to Le Chateau Frontenac, a Quebec hotel that captures the Old World charm of Europe. The employee has children the same age as McManus', who loved their own Canadian vacation, and she met her Europe-born husband in a similarly charming venue: Prague. "That connection had even more meaning to her," McManus says.
Speak the same language
White's co-author Gary Chapman identified five "love languages" that resonate differently with different individuals: words, time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. In the same way people prefer one or two language types in personal relationships, they do in the workplace as well.