托朋友找工作也要公事公办

    当时，俱乐部的教练让怀特科尔与软件公司10Count的首席执行官罗伯•安比尔特交手。不久之后，他们就开始与俱乐部的其他成员一起出去喝酒。随着交往的深入，大家自然而然会聊起怀特科尔的职业前途，因为他经常向这位经验更丰富的老兄请教。另外，他们还经常讨论共同感兴趣的商业和技术话题。四年后，安比尔特的公司收购了怀特科尔成立的在线转录与通话录音公司，并在10Count为怀特科尔提供了一个职位。

    肖恩•奥康纳建议，在与朋友交往的过程中，一定要明确自己的需求和兴趣所在，并坦诚地说明自己的目的。奥康纳在纽约成立了一家职业咨询与培训公司Stratus Careers，并担任公司CEO。他进一步介绍道，在与朋友交流的过程中，不要只说“我需要一份工作”，还要具体地告诉朋友，自己希望结识哪些岗位上的人，感兴趣的雇主类型是什么。同时，还要做好功课，提前了解将要会面的人以及对方公司的情况。千万不要浪费朋友的时间，也别让朋友的联系人一番好意付诸流水。

    奥康纳说：“很难要求朋友在他的人际圈子里为你深挖关系。所以，如果想通过朋友发展自己的职业，一定要说出自己的真正预期。”

    奥康纳的一位客户曾请求自己的朋友帮忙安排会面，以便了解情况。但在面试过程中，她却一味追问朋友给她介绍的这位联系人，是否有职位空缺、或者是否知道其他公司有没有职位空缺。他说：“最终，她不仅失去了一大帮朋友，也搞臭了自己在业内的信誉。人们感觉自己被她利用了，感觉她声称自己想要的与真正做的完全是两码事。最终，这件事又从那些高管们传到了她朋友们的耳中，而这些高管对于朋友的职业发展非常重要。”

    为了避免自己陷入类似的窘境，奥康纳经常会给自己的“关系”发邮件，详细说明自己朋友的目的，以及他为何要推荐这位朋友。所有相关人员最好提前做好功课，以保证“关系”能真正帮到忙。作为中间人，应该简单地把双方的情况和各自的意图告知当事双方。

    如果朋友没能帮忙，也不要介意。奥康纳说：“即使人们说‘我没有合适的机会’，也总好于把你推荐给不合适的人。”

    初次接触之后，要向朋友汇报会面的效果以及求职的进展。应该像对待职业联系人一样，给朋友发一封短函或电子邮件，表达谢意。

    此外，不要只局限于自己的朋友圈子。现年40岁的广播电台记者丹尼尔•戈德斯坦就是一个例子。当时，他正在Roy Rogers餐厅排队点餐，而他妻子则与邻桌的一位女士闲聊了几句。结果发现，这位女士正在招聘一位作家，而戈德斯坦的背景恰好合适。于是，经过几次谈话、一次面试和薪酬谈判之后，他接受了这份工作。

    最后，他说：“我们永远不知道机遇会在何时何地眷顾我们。所以，要擦亮眼睛，竖起耳朵，随时准备将自己推销出去，就算是在Roy Rogers餐厅排队点餐时也不例外。”

    译者：阿龙/汪皓

    The club's coach told Whitteker to spar with Rob Imbeault, the chief executive of software firm 10Count. Before long, they were going out for drinks with other boxers. As they got to know each other, they naturally discussed Whitteker's career -- as he sought advice from the older, experienced executive -- and their shared interest in business and technology. Four years later, Imbeault's firm ended up acquiring the online transcription and call recording company that Whitteker founded, and giving Whitteker a job at 10Count.

    When networking with friends, be specific about your needs and interests and straightforward about your intentions, advises Shawn O'Connor, founder and CEO of Stratus Careers, a career counseling and training firm based in New York. Rather than just saying "I need a job," let your friends know the job positions of individuals you want to meet, and the types of employers that interest you. Do your homework on the person and the firm. Don't waste your friend's time or the goodwill of your friend's contact.

    "It's hard for friends to dig deep into their networks," O'Connor says. "If you're going to use friends to try to develop your career, you really need to talk about what your expectations are."

    One of O'Connor's former clients asked her friends to help set up informational interviews, but in the meetings she pressed the contacts on whether they had any job openings or knew about any openings. "She lost a number of friends and soured her reputation in the industry as well," he says. "People really felt used, in the sense that she was saying she was looking for one thing and doing something totally different. It came back to her friends from these senior people who they need for their career development."

    To protect himself from this kind of scenario, O'Connor always emails a connection some details about what the friend is looking for and why he felt it would be a good fit. It's better for all involved to take the time up-front to ensure a connection would be helpful. The connector should tell the friend and the connection a bit about the person they're going to meet and their goals.

    If your friend can't help you network, don't take offense. "It's so much better for everyone involved to say, 'I don't have anyone to connect you with,' than to connect them to the wrong person,' " O'Connor says.

    After the connection has been made, follow-up with your friend about how the meeting went and how your job search is going. You should send a thank-you note or e-mail to a friend just as you would to a professional contact.

    And don't limit yourself to friends. Broadcast journalist Daniel Goldstein, 40, was waiting to buy food at Roy Rogers when his wife struck up a conversation with the woman seated at the next table. It turned out she was looking to hire a writer and Goldstein's background was a good fit. After a few conversations, an interview, and pay negotiation, he took the position.

    "You never know when, you never know where, and you always have to keep your ears and your eyes open. Be willing to sell yourself to anyone, anywhere, any time, even when you're standing in line at Roy Rogers," he concludes.