2. 永远不要以同样的方式回应他的责骂。“保持冷静、平静和泰然自若，”卡瓦伊奥拉建议。“许多控制型完美主义者以激怒其他人为乐趣。所以，无论是猛烈还击，还是自我防卫，都只会让情况更加糟糕。”

    3. 通过其他渠道获得积极反馈。卡瓦伊奥拉说：“不论你通过了多少考验，证明了自己的能力，对你的上司来说，永远都是不够的。如果想靠自己单枪匹马来解决这个问题，最终只会让你的自信消耗殆尽。”所以，尝试从其他渠道获得支持。卡瓦伊奥拉建议，从公司内部或外部寻找一两位导师，让他们给你提供从上司那里无法获得的鼓励和建设性的批评意见。

    他补充道：“你还需要一个能让你发泄的人，”比如配偶或朋友，“作为倾听者，你可以通过他们获得共鸣并进行现状核实，来纠正上司对你的偏见。”实际上，身为精神病医师的卡瓦伊奥拉与尼尔•兰文德之所以决定撰写《无法取悦》【以及之前的《有毒的同事》（Toxic Coworkers）】等书籍，是因为他们发现，对于上司总是吹毛求疵的许多患者来说，他们一直都在扮演倾听者这样一个角色，借此积累了写作素材。

    4. 不要默默承受。卡瓦伊奥拉建议：“让公司内的其他人知道，你对于自己受到的待遇非常不满。要求对方对这一信息保密，也不要指望在短期内采取任何措施。不过，有可能不止你一个人对这位上司有意见，如果有足够多的人抱怨，决策者们可能就会注意到问题所在。”而这就涉及到我们要说的第五条。

    5. 不要放弃。卡瓦伊奥拉发现：“随着时间的推移，控制型完美主义者会令上级和下级都心生怨恨，进而自断退路，他们注定必然得离开，或者被辞退。所以一定要坚持下去。把注意力放到工作上去，努力比他留在公司的时间更久。”

    就算上面这些措施都不奏效，但既然你一直希望在这家公司工作，那就不要放弃（起码不是现在）。开始在公司内寻找自己可以调任的其他职位。很有可能，其他管理者比你现任上司更加优秀。

    反馈：你是否曾在控制型完美主义者手下工作？你如何应对这种情况？欢迎评论。（财富中文网）

    译者：刘进龙/汪皓

    2. Never respond to his rants in kind. "Stay cool, calm, and collected," Cavaiola advises. "Some controlling perfectionists take pleasure in getting other people riled up, so lashing out or being defensive just makes them worse."

    3. Get positive feedback from other sources. "No matter how many hoops you jump through, it will never be enough for this person," says Cavaiola. "Trying to deal with this in isolation will eventually destroy your self-confidence." So get support elsewhere. Cavaiola recommends finding a mentor or two, inside or outside your company, to give you the encouragement and constructive criticism you're not getting from your boss.

    "You also need someone you can vent with," such as a mate or a friend, "as a sounding board and a reality check," he adds. In fact, Cavaiola and his co-author Neil Lavender, who are both practicing shrinks, decided to write Impossible to Please (and a previous book, Toxic Coworkers) because they found themselves playing this role for so many of their patients with hypercritical bosses.

    4. Don't suffer in silence. "Let someone else in the organization know that you're unhappy with how you're being treated," Cavaiola suggests. "Ask that the information be kept confidential, and don't expect any action in the short term. But chances are good that you're not the only one having problems with this person. If enough people complain, decision-makers may take notice." Which brings us to No. 5 …

    5. Don't give up. "Over time, controlling perfectionists tend to rankle many people both above and below them, and to burn bridges, which sets the stage for their leaving or being let go," Cavaiola observes. "So hang in there. Maintain your focus on your work and try to outlast him."

    If all else fails, since you've always wanted to work for this company, don't quit (yet). Start looking around for somewhere else you could move to within the organization. The odds are pretty good that just about any other manager in the place would be better than this one.

    Talkback: Have you ever worked for a controlling perfectionist? How did you handle it? Leave a comment below.