你知道什么才是你真正想要的吗？请先了解这七个词

我每个月都会辅导十几位来自全球各地的年轻人，他们对人生感到迷茫，也不知道如何更好地规划职业生涯。指导中我发现了不少共性，也藉此汇总了一些指导意见，以帮助那些有意树立人生目标的人士。以下是归纳出的几个主要理念，我将其概括为7个单词。

1. 欲望

我的大多数客户都不知道自己想要什么。有些人编出个故事告诉自己正在做什么，打算做什么，但其实并不清楚自己真正想要的是什么。

想知道我们真正要什么，就得停止脑中的自我审查，别再想着看似崇高或荣耀的答案，或是出于经济原因的选择或是家人的期望。我奉劝所有人：将所有不相关的事情抛之脑后，数三下之后用最快的速度回答“我想要什么？”十有八九，这就是你想要的答案。

你只能自己弄清楚想要什么，别人是爱莫能助的。第一步就是要毫不犹豫地找出来。

2. 恐惧

如果还是无法找到人生目标，不妨想想害怕什么。我坚信，恐惧能告诉我们应该去做什么，最成功的人士都会直面自己的恐惧。

与大多数人一样，我身边的人都会害怕，而且是害怕很多东西。在恐惧面前不能畏首畏尾，应该迎面而上果断击败。应该持这样的态度：了解恐惧可以加深对自我和周围世界的了解、学着面对恐惧时如何行事会受益匪浅。

去找能让人成长的领域，当你真正害怕时，成长得最快。

3. 服务

如果还是收效不大，就多找帮助他人的机会。除了金钱之外，你还有什么可以与世界分享？你有什么可以传授给他人？有没有什么地方，你的存在可以帮助到别人？

大多数不幸福的人都活得很自私，往往忽略了最简单的问题：就在今天，就在此刻，我能给予他人什么？一旦你感到失落，去给予，去分享，去爱。

4. 联系

我发现，很多对生活感到迷茫的人都没有积极、有技巧地与他人联系。我发现他人的需求之后，下一步就是列出清单，找出所有能够帮助他/她实现这一目标的人，然后开始一步步地联系这些人，请每个人施以援手或是大胆地将他/她的才华展示出来。

然而，大多数人都不敢做。要想做到，我们得找到合适的方法，价值观也要明确，第一步就要锻炼自信心。害怕与兴趣领域的重要人士联系正是成功路上的绊脚石。

5. 静思

人们经常严重低估生活中沉默和静思的价值。他们每天开着车疲于奔命，摄取大量信息和外界刺激，但从没有留出时间静下心梳理。

我建议身边每一位同事每天临睡前完全静下心来，坐半个小时。在这段神圣的时间里关掉所有的设备，穿好睡衣，平复一下思绪，回顾一下当天，在内心深处消化一下白天经历的事情。在身体辗转心绪不宁时，人们无法听到内心的声音，因此必须采取以下三个步骤：停止活动，静下心来，倾听心声。每天坚持。

6. 行动

大多数人都在装着行动，所以你也一样。你会感觉到——大多数时候是一种出于本能的恐惧或懒惰——不管走到哪都没法随心所欲。放弃伪装，按照理想中的标准行事，最终你会实现目标。

7. 奇迹

研究人员曾测算过，父母在某一时刻生下自己，也就是说现有DNA存在的概率——考虑到战争史、自然灾害以及天下大乱——约为400万亿分之一。你目前拥有的一切皆是迄今为止宇宙中一切事物相互作用的结果。一旦意识到这一事实，便没有理由再去游手好闲或自怨自艾，或被恐惧所困，没有什么能阻止你努力完成来到世上的使命。你的人生本就是一个奇迹。

我的人生亦是如此。现在让我们积极行动起来吧。（财富中文网）

译者：Pessy

审校：夏林

Every month I coach dozens of young people from around the globe who have no idea what they’re doing with their lives how to better plan their careers. Having found a number of common threads, I’ve put together some guidance for anyone seeking to determine their life’s purpose. Here are the main concepts to consider, distilled into seven key words:

1. Wants

Most of my clients have no idea what they want. Some have a story they tell themselves about what they’re doing or what they’re planning to do next, but they have no idea what they REALLY want.

What we really want can usually be identified once we stop censoring ourselves, trying to come up with an answer that sounds prestigious or glamorous or reflects what we think is economically feasible or what our family wants. I tell everyone: get all those things out of your head and then give yourself to the count of three to answer as quickly as possible “What do I want in life?” Nine times out of 10, that’s your answer.

Until you know what you want, no one else can help you get there. The first step starts in ruthlessly identifying what that is

2. Fear

If you still can’t come up with what you really want out of life, a good place to start is by examining what you’re scared of. I strongly believe that fear tells us what we should be doing and the most successful people proceed directly into what scares them.

Like most humans, everyone I work with is very scared of something – of many things actually. Instead of backing down in the face of those things, we tackle them head on. We look at it like, this is a lot of good stuff to put on your radar and start learning about how you roll in the fear zone.

Go where you’ll grow, and you’ll grow most when you’re really freaked out about something.

3. Service

If that doesn’t get the ball rolling, look for opportunities to give. What do you have that you can share with the world, regardless of monetary compensation? What can you teach others? Where might just your physical presence be a gift to someone in need?

Most unhappy people are living selfish lives without looking at the simplest question of all: What can I give to someone else? Today. Now. Whenever you feel lost, give, share, and love.

4. Connection.

I find that many people who feel stuck in life are failing to actively and strategically connect with others. Once I identify what someone wants, the next step is to make a list of all the people who can help him or her achieve it and then start methodically connecting with all of those people, personally asking each one for help or otherwise shamelessly putting their talents out there in front of them.

Again, most people are terrified to do this. And of course we must figure out how to do it appropriately and with a value proposition. We first need to work on our self-confidence to make it a reality. The fear of connecting with important people in a field of interest is precisely what holds us back from reaching the top.

5. Stillness

People tend to seriously underestimate the value of silence and stillness in their lives. They run around at 100 miles per hour every day, ingesting so much information and stimulation but never giving it time to settle in.

I tell each and every person I work with to sit and be completely still for half an hour every night before bed, a sacred time to turn off all the devices, get into pajamas, prepare the mind for rest, reflect on the day, and let the mind digest how the day shifted things around in its inner chambers. The heart can’t speak while the body is moving and the mind is restless, so we have to take these three steps: still the body, quiet the mind, and listen to the heart. Every day.

6. Acting

Most people are faking it. You have to do the same. You will feel one way – and most of the time it’s your animal brain screaming out in fear or laziness – but to go anywhere, you can’t just do what you feel like doing. Act like the person you dream of being, and eventually you’ll get there.

7. Miracle

Researchers estimate that the likelihood of YOU being born to your parents, with your set of DNA, in this particular moment in history – considering all the history of warfare and natural destruction and utter chaos – is about 1 in 400 trillion. Everything that has ever happened in the universe has brought you to this moment now. Once you wrap your head around that fact, it’s hard to sit back and feel sorry for yourself or let fear stop you from delivering on what you’re very clearly here for a reason to deliver to us. Your life is a miracle.

So is mine. Now let’s act accordingly.