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何止是女权?#MeToo还关乎金钱

何止是女权?#MeToo还关乎金钱

Sallie Krwacheck 2018-06-03
当我们灌输女孩不要谈钱,男性更应该得到金钱的观念时,男女不平等的命运骰子就已经掷下。

我刚刚登上去往欧洲的班机,有几分钟空闲时间。于是我缩在座位里四处看了下,然后看到一个曾经骚扰我的色狼。

我20多岁时认识了那家伙。他是投资银行家,比我早几年入行。当年他总是说粗俗的话,曾经拉着喝醉的年轻女分析师跟他回家,之后还吹嘘风流史。他曾经住我家的街对面,声称透过卧室窗户能看到我。总之,这人不是什么好东西。

我故意避开他的目光,他也有意不和我对视。不过,趁他把视线转向别处时,我观察了下,显然这次他和家人同行,一家几口分坐在两排座位上。他妻子在编织,一个儿子在玩游戏,另一个在看电影,他女儿在看《使女的故事》(The Handmaid’s Tale)。我在琢磨,他妻子知不知道他的过去,而且现在他有可能还是一样。我对他女儿很好奇,他怎么看以前的龌龊行径,对女儿的将来有怎样的期望?有没有将当年的行为跟女儿的未来放在一起考虑过?

我和他都在华尔街工作,做的是金钱的生意。而保守地说,金钱在这场女权主义运动#MeToo中发挥着重要作用。毋庸置疑,在一个男权社会,女性的权力不及男性。但值得注意的是,在资本主义男权社会里,女性拥有的财富也比男性少,两者之间关系密不可分。

那个色狼想没想过他十几岁的女儿长大后可能财富、权力都不如儿子?关不关心某天他女儿会跟当年遭他轻薄的年轻姑娘一样变成受害者?

当我们灌输女孩不要谈钱,男性更应该得到金钱的观念时,男女不平等的命运骰子就已经掷下。儿子的零用钱总是比女儿多。人们都深信男孩比女孩擅长数学(虽然事实并非如此),只要看到考生是女孩就会倾向评分低一些。女孩经常被调剂到英语语言文学和艺术史之类“粉领低收入学科”。

随着女性逐渐成长,金钱是女性禁地的观念一直延续。严重到什么程度?只要看看流行杂志封面的妙龄女郎就能发现,当今社会更愿意女性谈性,而不是谈钱。扫一眼机场报刊亭卖的女性杂志,就能看到诸如“性感些,压力更小。试试这条简单的妙计”和“性感加码!炫目的前戏技巧,贴心的玩具帮助你达到高潮”等等头条标题。翻遍当月所有女性杂志封面,没人提钱。

事实上,社会不只是对女性谈性更包容,对女性性行为也比女性谈钱的包容度高。在世人眼中,女性和男伴约会三次就上床非常正常,如果女性第三次约会时和男方谈起金钱,关系很可能要结束了。

不让女性认真了解金钱知识,结果是职场女性在和雇主协商薪资时相当不利。不知道其他人的薪资水平,女性又怎么知道该要多少薪资?如果对环境一无所知,怎么知道该向哪个方向努力?当研究显示女性谈薪资时可能会碰壁,女性也下意识地接受结论时,在职场上前进多么艰难。要是女性对完全不公平的现象表示愤怒,还会受到更大打击。

曾经骚扰我的色狼会不会思考这些问题?如果知道他的女儿受到跟儿子截然不同的待遇,比儿子的待遇差得多,他会不会积极呼吁改变身处的行业?或者他会无视女儿未来可能经受的痛苦,跟现在39%的男士一样,认为两性收入不存在差距?

他会不会在意女儿和朋友成长过程中,职业抱负不断受到压制?会不会担心当他女儿的事业成功,出席会议发表主题演讲或小组讨论时,一次又一次被追问如何“平衡工作与生活”。这突出表明,在男权社会里女性即便实现财务自由也算不得完全成功。另一方面,他的儿子将永远不会遇到这种问题。

他会不会介意,社会传递的讯息一直妨碍他女儿思考实现财务平等有多么困难?误导讯息就是:只要她更卖力工作,更努力跟老板协商薪资,找到合适的导师——准确地说应该是资助人,她也可以变成上市公司的首席执行官或者董事,获得相应收入。她会发现一些表彰职场顶端女性的论坛,讲述各种勇敢又有毅力的故事,却容易忽视成功女性多么屈指可数。她会忘记世界上从没有所谓最有影响力男性论坛,成功男士聚在一起开会只是简单叫论坛而已。

如果情况不改变,如果有权势的色狼男士不努力推动改变,他的女儿跟儿子相比注定钱更少、权利更小。她没有能力支持和自己价值观一致的政界候选人,不够钱资助非营利组织让世界变更美好,没有财力回馈社会,没能力远离虐待她的丈夫,也无力拒绝像她父亲当年一样的色狼同事。

在《使女的故事》里,针对女性的第一个暴行就是夺走金钱,难道没人想过为什么?(财富中文网)

注:作者莎莉·克劳切克是女性投资与理财规划平台Ellevest的联合创始人兼首席执行官。她曾任经纪公司美邦和梅林财富管理部门的首席执行官。

译者:Pessy

审稿:夏林

 

I had just boarded my flight to Europe with a couple of minutes to spare. I sunk into my seat, looked around…and saw my harasser.

A guy I knew in my 20s—an investment banker who was just a few years ahead of me. A guy who always, always had a crude comment. A guy who coerced young, drunk female analysts to go home with him (and bragged about it later). A guy who lived directly across the street from me (and so shared what he claims to have seen through my bedroom window). A creep.

I studiously avoided his gaze, and he studiously avoided mine. But when he looked away, I looked over. It was clear that he was with his family, all clustered together in a couple of rows. His wife was knitting. One son was playing a video game, another watching a movie. His daughter was reading The Handmaid’s Tale. I wondered what his wife knew about the person he used to be, and the person he maybe still is. Even more, I wondered about his daughter: how he squared his prior behavior with what his dreams must be for her and if he ever even put those two thoughts together.

He and I worked on Wall Street, in the business of money. And money is playing an important, if understated, role in this #MeToo moment. It goes without saying that, in a patriarchal society, women have less power than men do. But it is also worth noting that, in a capitalist patriarchal society, women also have less money than men do, and that these two things are deeply interrelated.

Does he care that his teenage daughter is being set up to have less money, and less power, than his sons? And to potentially be put in the compromised position that he himself put young women in?

The die is cast from an early age, when our society starts sending our girls a message that talking about money is off-limits and that boys are more deserving of money. We give our sons bigger allowances than our daughters. Our stereotypes of boys being better at math than girls are so strong (though incorrect) that simply checking off a “female” box at the top of a test results in lower test scores. Girls are instead shunted into the “pink-earnings-ghetto” of English literature and art history.

The messages that money is forbidden territory for females continue as we age. Just how forbidden? Look no further than popular magazine covers that this young lady sees, to recognize that it more acceptable in our society to talk about sex than it is to talk about money. Women’s magazine headlines on the newsstands in the airport she just passed through include: “More Sex, Less Stress. Try This Simple Solution” and “Heat Up Sex! Sizzling Foreplay Techniques, Warm Toys For Your Hot Spots.” Money is nowhere to be seen on the cover of this month’s crop of women’s magazines.

Indeed, in our society, it is not just more acceptable to talk about sex for women; it is more acceptable to have sex than it is to talk about money. Having sex on a third date is normal, but talking about money on a third date means there will probably be no fourth.

By keeping women in the dark and patronizing us about money, society places us at a significant disadvantage when we are negotiating our salaries. How can we know how much to ask for, if we don’t know how much everyone else is making? How can we know how hard to push, if we’re pushing in the dark? And how hard should we push when we women intuitively understand what the research tells us: That we face a potential backlash when we negotiate. And we face even greater backlash if we become angry over this essential unfairness.

Will this bother my former harasser? Will he fight for change in his industry now that his daughter will be treated so differently—so much worse—than his sons? Or will he ignore the evidence his daughter’s experience presents, and remain one of the 39% of men who believe there is no gender pay gap?

Will he care that his daughter and her friends are being socialized to gently tamp down each other’s career aspirations? If his daughter becomes successful and is a keynote speaker or a panelist at a conference, she will be asked—again and again, at every turn—how she achieves “work-life balance,” thus underscoring that female financial success is viewed as incomplete success in a patriarchal society. His sons will never, ever be asked this question.

Will he care that society sends his daughter messages to distract her from the boulders that stand in her path to financial equality? The message that if she just works harder, if she just negotiates better, if she just finds the right mentor—no, sponsor!—she too can be a CEO or be on a public company board and earn the money that this implies. She will note the glittering conferences celebrating the handful of women who make it to the top, with their stories of grit and persistence distracting her from their small numbers. She will forget that there are no conferences called Most Powerful Men; those are simply called conferences.

If the world doesn’t change—if this powerful man does not work to change it—his daughter will have less money and less power than her brothers. She will have less to contribute to political candidates who align with her values, less to give to non-profits that improve the world, less to spend back into her community, and less ability to leave abusive partners and refuse advances from the kinds of co-workers her father once was.

Is it any wonder that the first salvo in The Handmaid’s Tale was to take away women’s money?

Sallie Krawcheck is the CEO and Co-Founder of Ellevest, the investing and planning platform for women. She is former CEO of Smith Barney and Merrill Lynch Wealth Management.

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