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成功学大师背后不为人知的秘密

成功学大师背后不为人知的秘密

Polina Marinova 2018-03-26
抛去成功学大师的头衔,我们其实对生活中真实的托尼·罗宾斯一无所知。

常看TED演讲的人可能对托尼·罗宾斯这个名字并不陌生,他是美国知名的成功学演讲师、畅销作家,CEO智囊,在美国的影响力非常广泛。

本文原打算写的是企业家能从Netflix摄制关于罗宾斯的纪录片中学到些什么(比如关于“保持饥饿”、“问有深度的问题”、“打造共识”、“保持真实”之类的话题)。但是看到“真实”的部分,我开始有点纠结了。

这部纪录片的名字叫《托尼·罗宾斯:我不是你的成功学大师》。这个名字有点讽刺,因为抛去成功学大师的头衔,我们其实对生活中真实的罗宾斯一无所知。

整部片子时长两小时。故事一开始,是罗宾斯在帮助“与命运约会”学习班(有2500人参加)的一个学员劝解他的自杀倾向。然后,片子模糊地勾勒了罗宾斯本人的成长经历,他也曾有一段不堪回首的过去。

“我是个来自加州阿祖瑟市的孩子,我对任何事情都不确定,唯一确定的是,我的成长和家庭环境不可能让我经历我后来经历的那些事,所以我塑造了这个叫‘托尼·罗宾斯’的家伙。我塑造了他,我创造了他,他就是我,但这个混蛋是我创造的。”罗宾斯叙述道。

接下来是一连串的蒙太奇手法,很多名人(如艾伦·狄珍妮、拉里·金、皮尔斯·摩根等)接连出镜,称赞罗宾斯的书和学习班等数不清的成就。后来我们发现,罗宾斯的母亲不仅严重酗酒,还对止痛药物上瘾。不过从他的公开叙述中,我们对他的家庭所知的也就只有这些了。

接下来是罗宾斯的创业之路。片子的其余部分大量刻画了学习班的学员们,罗宾斯则作为“实用心理学家”帮他们愈合了各种心灵上的创伤。这些情节给人以强烈的心灵震憾感,不过除了上面说的那些,你再看不到关于他私人生活的任何细节了。

顺便透露一下,我本人也是罗宾斯的粉丝,我一直惊叹于他问问题的能力,解读身体语言的能力,以及在极短的时间内与人建立情感联系的能力。为了学习他的这些技巧,我读过他的书,看过他的采访,也听过他的播客。他访问《财富》的纽约总部时,我还见过他本人。不过我仍然觉得,我对这个启发了全球千百万人的成功学大师本人仍然一无所知。

片子的叙事风格显然是由罗宾斯来控制的。他不是一个愿意打开心扉的人。据说制片人乔伊·伯灵格花了两年时间才说服了他拍这部纪录片。对于这个帮助了无数创业人实现梦想的人,他自己的故事我们却知之甚少。

他生气的时候什么样?有什么事能让他产生不安全感?如果他不能帮助某个人突破自我,他会怎样做?他有没有特别失败和失意的时候?他向无数CEO、创业人和像我一样的普通人说教“真实”的重要性,但他什么时候摘下过那张精心编织的面具,做过真实的自己?

在整部片子的最后一分钟,随着演职员字幕的滚动,罗宾斯回答了整部片子最重要的问题之一。听了他的回答,你就明白他为什么这样爱谈问问题的重要性了。

伯灵格问道:“能不能让观众更好地了解一下托尼·罗宾斯到底是谁?”

罗宾斯的“确定性”在片中第一次消失了,他显得稍有些不安。他耸了耸肩,眼睛望向一边,说道:“我不知道很多人是不是在乎这个。”他笑了笑,然后补充道:“老实说,如果你的电影成功与否取决于这个,我认为你就有麻烦了。”

好在对于伯灵格来说,他的纪录片能否成功,这个问题并不重要。(财富中文网)

译者:朴成奎 

Tony Robbins has been described as a motivational speaker, a best-selling author, a CEO whisperer. But you probably already knew that, right?

This was originally supposed to be an article about what entrepreneurs could learn from the new Netflix documentary on Robbins (lessons like “get hungry,” “ask probing questions,” “build consensus,” “be authentic”). It wasn’t until I got to the “authentic” part that I began to struggle.

It’s ironic the film was titled Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru because we never actually get to the essence of who Robbins is as a person (…besides not being a guru).

The emotional, two-hour documentary opens with Robbins in his element – helping one of the 2,500 “Date With Destiny” seminar attendees deal with thoughts of suicide. It then gives us a vague description of Robbins’ own painful past.

“I am a kid from Azusa, California, who did not have any f***ing certainty, but I was certain of one thing. I was not about to grow up and have a family that was gonna go through what I went through, and so I constructed this f***ing Tony Robbins guy. I constructed him. I created him. He was me, but I built this motherf***er,” Robbins narrates.

What follows is a montage of TV personalities (Ellen DeGeneres, Larry King, and Piers Morgan) rattling off Robbins’ countless achievements related to his books and seminars. I should add that we do later get a two-minute look into Robbins’ family life and learn that his mom was an alcoholic addicted to pain medicine — one of the few things Robbins publicly talks about when he mentions his past.

And that’s it for Robbins’ entrepreneurial journey. The rest of the film shines the spotlight on the seminar attendees, and Robbins acts as a “practical psychologist” helping them move past the trauma. It’s moving, powerful and emotionally charged, but you won’t learn any more about his personal life (past and present) than what has been written about it previously.

Full disclosure: I’m a pretty big Robbins fan. I’ve always been fascinated by his ability to ask questions, read body language, and connect with people on an emotional level in a stunningly short period of time. I started studying Robbins’ techniques by reading his books, watching interviews and listening to podcasts. I even met him when he came toFortune’s offices in New York. Yet I still feel like I know nothing about the self-made titan who’s been able to inspire millions of people around the globe.

It’s clear Robbins controls the narrative. He’s not comfortable opening up. It took filmmaker Joe Berlinger two years to convince Robbins to even let him do this documentary. For a man who has managed to live the dream so many entrepreneurs aspire to, we know remarkably little about his story.

Who is Robbins when he’s furious? What makes him insecure? How does he act when he can’t help someone have a breakthrough? When has he failed miserably? He preaches authenticity to CEOs, entrepreneurs and people like me, but at what point does the carefully-curated brand end and the real Tony Robbins begin?

It’s fitting that Robbins talks about the power of questions so much because one of the most powerful parts of the entire film is the last question asked in the last minute as the credits are rolling.

“What about giving people a better understanding of who Tony Robbins is,” Berlinger asks.

For the first time in the documentary, Robbins’ “f***ing certainty” strips away and he looks slightly uncomfortable. He shrugs, looks to the side and says, “I don’t know that many people give a shit.” He laughs and adds, “Honestly, if that’s what your film’s success is based on, I think you’re in trouble.”

Luckily for Berlinger, it’s not.

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