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用这些方法可以治疗拖延症

用这些方法可以治疗拖延症

Renita Kalhorn 2017-08-26
哪怕是那些最成功的人,他们也会面临同样的烦恼。他们只是知道如何战胜自己的内心。

你是否曾有哪天醒来后对自己说:“今天就让我心安理得地当一天废物吧!没啥要紧事我就浑浑噩噩地混到下班,翻翻电子邮件,累了就刷刷朋友圈。”

你当然不会这样做。我们都知道,要想成功就要做那些重要的事——比如战略规划、做报表、打电话拜访那家你想谈下来的“财富500强”公司等等,这些才是对企业增长真正重要的事。但很多时候,我们把这些重要的事拖着不办,有时还理直气壮地为自己开脱,找些“我需要很多时间来思考”或者“我需要进入正确的情绪”等等。我们为什么会这样做呢?

因为这就是人的本性。

首先,如果某些任务需要我们在认知上投入大量精力,我们就会自然而然地排斥这些工作。比如如果你要写一份给投资者的演示文稿,这需要大量深度的战略思考,而我们的大脑天然就排斥这种疲劳的任务。

作为人类,我们天然就对可能给我们带来负面情绪的事物感到反感。比如某个任务需要我们先审视一下自己的财务状况,我们只要一看到自己少得可怜的存款,就会感到恐慌,并且担心自己能不能撑到下个月发工资的时候。如果某个任务将决定你能否得到下一份工作,我们就会担心将任务搞砸(就像上一次一样)。或者如果我们从内心就讨厌某个任务——比如打销售电话,我们就会觉得自己无法胜任或能力不够,并且在内心里希望别人不会发现这一点。

不过值得安慰的是,哪怕是那些最成功的人,他们也会面临同样的烦恼。他们只是知道如何战胜自己的内心。通过以下五种方法,你也可以加入到他们之中。

一、打破心理惰性。

第一步是承认自己的心理惰性。研究表明,很多人之所以将重要的任务拖着不办,是因为他们觉得自己现在的状态不好,等以后状态好了再说。不过实际上,没人能保证你以后的状态好不好。所以你要打破这种心理惰性,直接开始着手干。惰性更像一堵墙,而不是一片山坡,只要你打破了它,后面的事情就顺利多了。

二、找准阻力点。

如果你对某件事有严重的拖延症,那么它让你有逆反心理的往往只是一个方面,而不是这件事整体。这才是让你产生拖延心理的原因。你可以问问自己:“我害怕的到底是什么?”(写到纸上则更好。)比如你害怕的可能不是写投资人演示文稿本身,而是嫌收集数据太麻烦,或是一想起以前被投资人拒绝的经历就浑身难受,潜意识里害怕再被拒绝一次。另外你可能挺喜欢与潜在战略伙伴拉关系的,只是讨厌打销售电话的那一刻。

一旦你认识到了自己卡在哪个地方,你的情绪就不至于影响你对整件事的态度,这样你就可以制定一个专门的计划去攻克这一障碍(比如你可以请一位导师跟你演练一下怎样打一个重要的销售电话)。

三、把时间当成一种工具。

就算真的给了你“许多思考的时间”,你该拖延还是会拖延的。你要记住,如果你不知道你做一件时间的时限是多久,那你就会更难开始去做这件事。所以如果你要做某件事的话,你要自己给它加一个期限——比如15分钟。这样你的大脑就会自动化解拖延的倾向,因为它发现你的逆反心理是有期限的。

四、先设定一个小目标。当你的车子抛了锚,需要自己来推时,你一开始的目标肯定只是先推动几寸,而不是一上来就推十几米,对吧?同理,所有的大事都不能一蹴而就。你可以先设置一个小目标,一个小到不会让你产生逆反心理的目标。比如先打开一个空白文档,写上一句话;或是在一张餐巾纸上写下文章的要点。很多年前,当我刚加入一家医疗保险公司公司时,当时的我没有销售经验,又害怕打销售电话。而我记得几个打过去也不会有人接的电话号码,所以我打了过去进行“练胆”,就这样,我就完成了先留三段语音信箱的“小目标”。

前美国海豚突击队军官、企业家马克•迪万曾指出:“当我们把注意力集中在一个个小目标上,我们就会实现一个个小胜,这些小胜迅速积累起来,就会催生出干劲,使人觉得‘我能’,而不是‘我不能’或‘我不想’。”

五、中间暂停一下。

对于较大的、持续时间较长的项目,哪怕是在中场休息时,也要保持一定的冲劲。比如美国作家海明威有一个小窍门:“在你写得不错而且知道下一步要发生什么的时候停下来。”这样一来,你知道了下一步应该干什么,而且接下来继续做干时也会容易一些。”

有些事情是非做不可的,拖延不是出路。要想克服拖延症,去做那些艰难而重要的工作,归根结底在于调整自己的心态。优秀企业家克服拖延症的秘诀就是他们知道抗拒和拖延比采取行动更痛苦。他们知道,一旦着手去做一件大事,就能获得极大的成就感。由此形成的良性循环,也使他们能更容易地做成其他看似很难的事情。(财富中文网)

本文作者Renita Kalhorn是一名领导力开发导师,也负责为美国海豹突击队提供精神力培训辅导。

译者:贾政景

Do you ever wake up in the morning and say, “Today, I am going to spend the day in reactive mode -- running around putting out fires, constantly checking email and wasting time on Facebook when I get really stressed."

Of course not. We all know it’s important to do the important things — strategic planning, understanding our numbers, calling that potential Fortune 500 partner — that are critical to the growth of the company. And yet we often find ourselves putting them off, rationalizing that we need “a big chunk of time to focus” or "to be in the right mood.” Why do we do that?

Welcome to human nature.

For one, we put off tasks if they're cognitively-demanding. Creating a new investor presentation, for example, requires deep, strategic thinking that our brain is fundamentally wired to avoid.

As humans, we also resist anything that hints of emotional discomfort. If the task requires looking at our financials, we feel a sense of panic when we see our run rate (and wonder if we can make next month’s payroll); if it’s deciding the next key hire, we’re afraid of screwing up (like we did last time); or, if it's something we don't inherently enjoy, like sales calls, we feel incompetent or inadequate (and hope nobody finds out).

If it’s any consolation, the most successful, accomplished people face this struggle too. They just know how to master their psychology and win. Here’s a five-step process so you can join them.

Step 1: Break through the psychological inertia. The first step is to simply accept the mental resistance. Research has shown that people tend to delay tasks because they feel they aren’t in the right mood and believe they’ll be in the right mood later. There’s no guarantee that will happen. Break through and just start. Fortunately, inertia is more like a wall than a steep grade — once you break through, momentum takes over.

Step 2: Pinpoint the resistance. If you’re procrastinating, keep in mind it’s often just one particular aspect, not the entire task, that's creating resistance. Ask yourself: "What exactly am I dreading?” (Even better, write it down). For example, it may not be putting together the investor presentation itself that you’re avoiding but the hassle involved in gathering accurate data, or the memories of past rejection. You might generally enjoy connecting with potential strategic partners, just not the actual moment of requesting a commitment.

Identifying the precise point of resistance prevents emotion from coloring your whole attitude so you can come up with a specific action to work through the block (e.g. asking a mentor to role-play a big sales ask).

Step 3: Use time as a tool. If that mythical “big chunk of time to focus” does ever materialize, it often creates such pressure that you still end up procrastinating. It's important to remember that it’s harder to start something when you don’t know how long you’re going to be doing it. So, put a limit on how long you ’ re going to be doing something — 15 minutes, say. Your mind will relax its resistance because it can see a limit to the perceived discomfort.

Step 4: Set micro-goals. When you’re pushing a stalled car, you aim to move it a few inches at first, not six feet, right? Likewise, no project is a monolithic action that you do in one giant, fell swoop. Start with a micro-goal, one so incremental that it creates no resistance. Open up a Google doc and write one sentence, for example, or bullet point a rough outline on a napkin. Years ago, when I joined a health insurance startup to gain sales experience, I found I could jump - start my dreaded bi-weekly lead and cold - calling sessions and get into the groove by dialing two or three numbers that I knew from past experience no one would answer. Micro-goal: leave three voicemails. Check!

F ormer SEAL Commander and entrepreneur Mark Divine says, “When we set our sights on micro-goals, we achieve micro-wins, which quickly stack up and develop a sense of momentum and ‘can-do’ instead of ‘can’t – won’t.’ That’s because micro-goals leverage our biology. When our brain perceives that we’ve ‘done’ something, it produces serotonin—the body’s ‘feel-good chemical’ – creating a sense of calmness and satisfaction that builds our confidence and motivates us to take on the next task.

Step 5: Stop in the middle. For large, ongoing tasks, the trick is to create a sense of momentum even when you stop. Once you’v e established traction, steal a tip from Ernest Hemingway, who used to stop writing in the middle of a sentence: “Stop when you are going good and when you know what will happen next.” Knowing exactly what your next action is minimizes inertia and makes it easier to pick up where you left off.

There’s no getting around it: Doing the hard, important work comes down to managing your psychology. The secret that high-performing entrepreneurs know is that resistance and avoidance are more painful than actually taking action. They know that knocking that big task off their to-do list produces a disproportionate sense of satisfaction — which then creates a virtuous cycle that makes it easier to tackle other seemingly hard projects .

– Renita Kalhorn is a leadership development coach and a mental training mentor with Navy SEALs RDAC.

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