Glossary of the new economics

    By Stanley Bing

    Debt: What you buy things with.

    Cash: Employed to buy debt.

    Profit: What’s left after Generally Accepted Accounting Principles takes the rest.

    Revenue: What you see in 120 days.

    Interest: What they used to give along with the toaster.

    Free Market: see Unregulated Market.

    Unregulated Market: See Ponzi Scheme.

    Ponzi Scheme: The manipulation of markets by experts who use other people’s money to get rich.

    EBITDA: See OIBIDA

    OIBIDA: Yet another acronym.

    Cash Flow: The actual amount of money an enterprise has on hand. Generally disregarded by Wall Street analysts in favor of Earnings Per Share (EPS).

    EPS: Cash that is left after the business does anything worthwhile. The figure is distorted by all sorts of one-time expenses, accounting tropes, write-downs, restructuring charges and other non-cash items.

    Capitalism: The manipulation of markets by experts who use other people’s money to get rich.