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专栏 - 日月谈

如何打造聆听文化(I)

莫拉·法伦 2013年02月21日

莫拉·法伦,财富中文网专栏作家,曾经担任联信及霍尼韦尔亚太分公司学习发展部主管;她在“软技巧”领域的真知灼见引人入胜。“日”和“月”,两者互为对立。一个热烈似火,一个冷清如水。在汉字里,又恰好组成了一个“明”字。公司和人的问题亦是如此:对立起来,两者都有缺憾;唯有相辅相成,才能阴阳调和。点击查看莫拉的过往作品。
聆听能够消除倾诉者的困惑和压力,也能丰富倾听者的思路。聆听在人们之间建立起了积极的互动,有助于建立起良性的联系,改善人们的感受,提升合作的成效。

    “如果有人认真倾听,不做判断,不问是非,也不吹毛求疵,诉说者会觉得如沐春风。当我诉说而又有人倾听,我就能另辟蹊径来重新感悟身边的世界,如是循环反复。

    有人聆听时,看似毫无联系的事物就能融为一体;用话语打动别人时,看似无法化解的困惑就变得相对清晰流畅,这真是让人叹为观止。”

    心理学家卡尔•罗杰斯

    对成功的领导者来说,公众认可的是他们的话语,而他们真正的权力却在于聆听和提出深刻的问题。诉说、聆听并让自己的话打动听众,这些行为帮助人们消除困惑。聆听是一种积极的关怀,它能从本质上改变人们共事的方式。

    那些以任务为导向的人,特别是已经处于高级管理岗位的人有时会难以发现聆听可以为他们提供的帮助。通过聆听,领导者可以让大家都参与进来,在相互之间建立联系。

    • 诉说让人们了解当前状况,帮助人们获得他人的认可。

    • 讨论整个团体的目标,聆听人们的反应,这样能帮助领导者制定策略和任务,同时发现可能存在的问题。

    • 聆听让领导者接触到各种各样的意见,进而丰富自己的思路。聆听让各方面的思路更加清晰。

    • 正如卡尔•罗杰斯所暗示的那样,诉说能缓解压力,增强动力,提升创造性。

    经典管理书籍《组织寓言》(Inside Organizations)和《管理之神》(Gods of Management)的作者查尔斯•汉迪曾经这样写道:“有时相信自己的观点胜过他人确实是一种傲慢之举。在伟大的领导者身上,谦逊和自信似乎兼而有之,其中包括承认错误的能力。”

    为了能和他人联系在一起,人们可能必须回顾繁忙和离别曾给自己带来的感受。决心从聆听和诉说中汲取益处的领导者总是能找到机会让和自己共事的人们感到愉悦。(财富中文网)

    译者:涛

    “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels good. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on.

    It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard."

    Carl Rogers, psychologist

    Successful leaders are often publicly recognized for what they say, but they achieve their real power by listening and asking insightful questions. To talk, to listen, and to be heard are acts that help clear confusion. Listening is an active form of caring, and it qualitatively changes the way people work together.

    Task-oriented people, especially those who have arrived in senior positions, sometimes find it hard to see how listening can help them. Listening is how leaders get people involved and connected with one another.

    • Being listened to engages people in what is going on and helps develop buy-in.

    • Talking about the organization's goals and then listening to how people respond helps a leader develop strategy and objectives and uncover possible problems.

    • Listening enriches the leader's own thinking by getting a wider range of ideas. Being listened to fosters clearer thinking all around.

    • As Carl Rogers implies, being listened to releases stress, increases motivation, and expands creativity.

    Charles Handy, author of the classics Inside Organisations and Gods of Management, writes, “Sometimes it is indeed arrogance to trust your views more than those of others. Great leaders seem to live with a mix of humility and confidence, which includes the ability to admit on occasion that they are wrong.”

    In order to connect with others, people may have to reach past feelings of busy-ness and separation. A leader committed to reaping the benefits of listening and being listened to can always find time to enjoy the people he or she works with.

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