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最好找个会做家务的老公│85后母亲面临哪些挑战

Jennifer Landis 2016年07月11日

60%的千禧一代人认为,夫妻中的一方应该留在家里带孩子。

 

在美国,“千禧一代”出生的年轻妈妈已经占据了美国所有已为人母者的22%——要说的是,“千禧一代”在美国早已不是什么新词了,它指的是在世纪之交出生、伴随信息技术和互联网成长起来的一代人,大致相当于国内的“85后”、“90后”。和中国一样,美国的这群“85”后们同样是饱受争议的一代,常被冠以散慢、懒惰、千人一面等许多带有负面色彩的形容词。

网络上甚至还有一篇流传甚广的文章,名字就叫:《千禧一代是史上最差一代的七个理由》。

老一辈人总是爱抱怨新一辈,这并不是什么新鲜事。不过对“千禧一代”的横加指摘还是很不公道的。特别是美国的“85后”们在一个特殊的领域上做得相当不错,甚至远远超过了他们的父辈和祖父辈。这个特殊领域,便是如何在工作和生活中找到平衡。

总的来说,“千禧一代”的年轻妈妈们的幸福感要显著强于上一代母亲,不论是在工作还是在婚姻生活中都是如此。首先让我们探索一下原因,其次再来谈谈我们每个人从他们身上能学到哪些经验——不管你的年纪多大。

“85后”母亲:选择走自己的路

当“千禧一代”人的母亲们,也就是“婴儿潮”一代和“无名一代”出生的女性们考虑工作问题时,她们往往会想到女权主义运动和“打碎男权的天花板”。然而“千禧一代”的年轻母亲们却认为,夫妻双方最好能有一人留在家里照顾孩子.据最近的一项调查显示,60%的千禧一代人认为,夫妻双方中的一人应该辞职在家带孩子,而“无名一代”(“70后”)和“婴儿潮一代”(“50后”)分别只有50%和55%这样认为。对于老一代美国人来说,这种决定也是多年来美国政治和社会运动的结果。但如今的年轻妈妈们却将它看成一种个人的选择。

科技影响了人的职业选择

随着科技的爆炸,以及远程办公、弹性工作制、远程桌面等手段的涌现,朝九晚五、循规蹈距的小隔间生活,已经不再是所有“千禧一代”的必然职业选择。越来越多的“千禧一代”开始选择在家上班,从而省却了办公室成本和通勤时间。

这样一来,他们一方面有了更多时间陪伴家人,另一方面也能在工作上变得更加高效。以纽约市为例,每名工人平均每年因上下班迟到而浪费的时间就高达74个小时。要注意,这74小时并非是花在上下班路上的时间,而是在上下班途中由于意外而导致上班迟到或是下班晚回家而浪费的时间。既然如此,为什么我们不能换种方式,让自己随时随地都能开展工作,而非要等到自己到了办公室再说呢?

有了智能手机,收发电子邮件、接打工作电话都变得极为方便,甚至可以让你随时随地追踪项目进度。熟悉数码技术的人都明白,很少有什么工作是非要让你朝九晚五地守在办公桌前才能完成的。去年,“千禧一代”正式取代“无名一代”,成为职场中人数最多的主力军,所以这种职业偏好将继续影响整个职场的传统与标准。

找个会做家务的老公

现在的年轻妈妈们并不认为做家务和带孩子完全是自己的责任。男女平权的理念早已深入人心——这也归功于当年我们的老妈们甚至祖母们的奔走呼号。现在,辞职在家带孩子、刷盘子洗碗的,很可能有不少都是“千禧一代”的年轻爸爸们。

《母与女:工作母亲世代报告》(The Mothers and Daughters: The Working Mother Generations Report)显示,千禧一代的小夫妻们能够很坦然地分配工作与家庭的职责,商量由谁去工作赚钱、谁来辞职带娃。这是因为“千禧一代”的家族生活正在变得更加平等,夫妻双方愿意分担责任来维系家庭和谐。

提前做好人生规划

“千禧一代”对职场成功的看法并不是线性的,这也就是为什么有些人认为“85后”的年轻人要么太懒,要么工作干劲不足,而实际上,他们只是需要一些灵活性罢了。很多“85后”都表示,工作的灵活性不足是导致他们离职的主要原因之一。随着“千禧一代”这一群体即将进入盛年,企业也应该想方设法提供更多的灵活性,以保留人才。

快乐的“85后”母亲们想方设法地让自己不像她们的父母一样,非得去忍受长时间的工时和死板的工作日程。如果她们的工作不能提供她们所需要的灵活性,她们中的很多人就会转而从事几份自由职业工作,来为自己赚一份全职工作的工资。许多全职工作者可能认为这些都不是什么正经工作,千禧一代却觉得这与全职工作没什么区别。目前,美国38%的千禧一代人是自由职业者,这个比例也超过了任何一代人。

千禧一代的年轻妈妈们在规划职业路线时,也会把一家公司的产假政策作为重点考量因素之一。像Facebook、Etsy、Netflix和Spotify等行业巨头都高调宣布了自己调整后的产假和陪产假政策,让新妈妈们能有更多时间陪伴自己刚出生的宝贝儿。金宝汤公司(Campbell’s Soup Co.)最近也调整了它的产假政策,该公司的董事长还表示:“我们非常关心千禧一代的母亲们,而且这对消费者也是很有好处的。考虑到所有这些因素,我认为现下正是时机。”

千禧一代的母亲们即将步入职业生涯的盛年,与此同时,她们也要拥抱家庭生活。由于她们具有出色的技术能力,灵活的工作态度,并且有意识地选择了能够分担家庭责任的伴侣,因此,很多千禧一代的母亲都能根据她们的目标和价值观,规划好自己的人生之路。所以,不管一名女性决定在外工作,还是在家带娃,总之,她们的选择都能让她们——以及她们的家庭,过上更加幸福的生活。 (财富中文网)

译者:朴成奎

Millennial moms make up 22% of the Mom population in the United States. They are a vital part of a much-maligned generation. Millennials, as a whole, have often been referred to as entitled, lazy and uniformed, among lots of other deleterious adjectives.

Heck, there is even an article with a headline that reads “7 Reasons Why Millennials Are the Worst Generation.”

An older generation complaining about a younger one is not new, but millennials do not deserve abject criticism. In fact, there appears to be one area in which millennials are achieving success in a way their parents and grandparents weren’t able to: finding a work-life balance.

In fact, millennial moms are generally happier than their older counterparts, both in work and in relationships. Let’s take a look at why that is, and what wisdom anyone, no matter their age, can learn from them.

Millennial moms choose their own path

When their moms, baby boomers and Gen Xers think about work, they think about the feminist movement and shattering glass ceilings. However, millennial moms think it is more important that a parent stay home to care for their children than the generations before them thought. In a recent survey, 60 percent of millennials thought a parent should stay home to care for children, while only 50 percent of Generation X and 55 percent of baby boomers agreed. For previous generations, this decision was part of a political and social movement, but today’s young moms see it as a personal choice.

Today’s technology impacts career choices

Teleworking. Flex time. Remote desktops. Thanks to the explosion of technology, millennials see no reason their careers must mean traditional 9-to-5 cubicle work. Instead, they embrace working from home, cutting down on office costs and commute times.

This means more time with family and more time to be productive as well. In New York City, for example, the average time spent delayed during the commute to and from work is 74 hours a year. That’s not just the commute time: That’s the time unexpectedly delayed during a commute. Why not start work as soon as you are able, instead of as soon as you can get yourself to the office?

Smartphones make it easy to respond to email, take a work call and track projects from anywhere. Digital natives who are comfortable relying on technology know that very few jobs actually require sitting at a desk from 9-to-5. Last year,millennials overtook Generation Xers as the largest generation in the workforce, so these preferences will continue influencing workplace traditions and standards.

Picking partners who pick up

Young moms do not think they are solely responsible for the housekeeping, cooking and child care. The idea of equality is so innate in their worldview – thanks to trailblazing moms and grandmas – that it can be the millennial dad who stays at homewith the kids or who washes dishes every night.

The Mothers and Daughters: The Working Mother Generations Report shows that millennials are happier with their decision to be an at-work or stay-at-home parent and how the at-home responsibilities are divvied up. This is because millennials seem to be moving toward a more egalitarian home life, one where both mom and dad can chip in to get the work done.

Planning ahead to accommodate life

Millennials do not seem to have the same lineal idea of workplace success. This might be why some accuse millennials of being lazy or unmotivated, when in reality they simply desire flexibility. In fact, millennials site a lack of flexibility as one of the main reasons they leave jobs. As this group is reaching their peak work years, employers will look to retain talent by providing this desired flexibility.

Happy millennial moms plan to ensure they don’t suffer through the same long hours and unforgiving schedule as their parents. If their office job won’t provide the desired flexibility, many create a full-time job out of several freelance positions. What full-time workers might see as a side hustle, millennials see as a full time gig. In fact, 38 percent of millennials are freelancers, more than any other generation.

Millennial mothers also have to look at a company’s maternity leave policy during their planning process. There have been numerous high-profile announcements of family-leave policy changes from industry giants like Facebook, Etsy, Netflix and Spotify. All announced positive changes to their family-leave policies to give young moms more time at home to bond with a newborn. Campbell’s Soup Co. also changed its leave policy recently, and the president said, “We are all about millennial mothers, and this is really good for consumers. Putting those factors together, I just said it’s time.”

Millennial moms are hitting their peak work years at the same time as they embrace family life. Given their access to technology, flexible attitudes toward work and intentional choices of a partner who will pitch in, many moms are able to craft a lifestyle according to their goals and values. Whether a woman decides to work outside of the home or as a stay-at-home mom, it is clear: These choices allow these women – and their families — to live happier lives.

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