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趣味小测试:你的东家是最佳雇主吗

Stanley Bing 2012年02月10日

你效力的公司是否能够跻身最佳行列?答案有可能取决于你的职位。

    我们已经竭尽全力找出能让员工乐不思蜀的公司,但我们不可能把它们一网打尽。或许你所在的公司就是一个快乐之所!到底是不是,做做下面这个小测试就能找出答案。

早晨去上班时,我会……

    A. 自顾自地偷笑。

    B. 在车上玩填字游戏。

    C. 心情郁闷。

我上班时间穿着的工作服……

    A. 是我的荣誉勋章,我睡觉都不愿意脱下来。

    B. 只是制服而已。每家公司都有。将就穿吧。

    C. 让我觉得自己像只马戏团的猴子。

我的老板……

    A. 是个无比优秀的伟大人物。愿上帝保佑她。

    B. 脑子很好使,酒量也不错。

    C.甚至会用大棒子痛殴竖琴海豹宝宝。

你愿意要免费饮料还是补贴?

    A. 知道吗,我们公司的厨房里全都是免费的食物和饮料。我连吃午餐都不用离开公司!我可以一直工作到下班!公司福利真是太好了!

    B. 我怀念以前的补贴计划。它在2006年被取消了。但我理解公司的苦衷。

    C. 我自己买得起饮料,谢谢。

我对公司总体战略目标的了解……

    A. 来自于我的上司在例会上向我所作的详细介绍,他的上司则向他作了完整的介绍,以此类推。

    B. 这个问题超越了我的薪金等级范围。

    C. 你是指除了赚钱以外还有什么吗?

日常工作的时长……

    A.基本上由我自己决定,只要我把活儿干完就行。有时我甚至穿着睡袍在家工作!

    B. 9个半小时。早上8点半上班,下午6点下班,过去15年来一贯如此。

    C.挤占了全部空闲时间。起早贪黑,直到精疲力竭、头晕脑胀,整天只想着必须要完成的工作。

你是否担心饭碗不保?

    A. 我不怎么考虑这个问题。我知道,如果形势不妙,公司会照顾我的。

    B. 当然,有时会这么想。但从另一方面看,被炒鱿鱼相当于获得了自由!我不介意探索外面的世界。

    C. 一天到晚都在担心。我的整个人生都和这份该死的工作绑在了一起。要是没有这份工作,我甚至不知道自己是谁。

    FORTUNE -- We've done our best to identify corporations that are a pleasure to work for. But we couldn't possibly list them all. Maybe your company, too, is a party on a half shell! Take this quiz and find out.

When I go to work in the morning, I ...

    A. Smile a little secret smile to myself.

    B. Do a crossword puzzle on the train.

    C. Have a sphincter the size of a pinhead.

The clothing I am expected to wear to work ...

    A. Is a badge of honor. I wear it to sleep.

    B. Is a uniform. All institutions have them. Get over it.

    C. Makes me feel like a trained monkey.

My boss ...

    A. Is a titan of Excellence. God bless her.

    B. Is a smart guy and can hold a drink.

    C. Would club a baby harp seal.

Which would you rather have: free beverages or a pension?

    A. Did you know that we get an entire kitchen full of free food and drinks? I don't even leave the building for lunch! I just work straight through! What a perk!

    B. I miss my old pension plan, which was taken away in 2006, but I understand why the company did it.

    C. I can buy my own Gatorade, thanks.

My understanding of the overall strategic goals of the corporation ...

    A. Is fleshed out for me at regular meetings with my boss, who is fully briefed by his boss, and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby.

    B. It's above my pay grade.

    C. Beyond making money, you mean?

The length of my average workday ...

    A. Is basically whatever I think it should be, as long as I get the job done. Some days I even work from home. In my bathrobe!

    B. Nine and a half hours. In at 8:30. Out at 6. For the past 15 years.

    C. Expands to fill all available space, blocking out the sun, until I exist in a formless, shapeless void filled with nothing but that which must be done.

Do you feel secure about your employment status?

    A. I don't really think about it too much. I know that if anything bad were to happen, the corporation would take care of me.

    B. Sure. Now and then. But in a way, getting fired would be a form of liberation I wouldn't mind exploring.

    C. Night and day. My entire persona is bound up with this screwy job. I don't even know who I am without it.

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