畅销书《关键对话：高效沟通的技巧》（Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High）一书的作者约瑟夫•格雷尼指出，争取更好的待遇或者津贴不应该威胁到一个人的工作，但前提是你要采用正确的方法——特别是在得到赏识的时候。
'I want a raise'
Before asking for a raise -- even if you need and deserve it -- it's easy to let self-doubt take over: What if your boss doesn't think you're worth the extra money? What if your boss hasn't had a pay bump for a while, either, and labels you a complainer?
Lobbying for a better salary or perks shouldn't jeopardize your career, though, if you do it the right way -- especially if you're a valued employee, says Joseph Grenny, who wrote the bestselling Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.
The key to getting what you want? Stick to the facts, Grenny advises.
"First, research salary data online to find out what other people get paid for jobs like yours in your geographic area," he says. "Then, be ready to give solid evidence for why your performance merits more money."
Whatever you do, don't say you need more money for personal reasons (no matter how urgent), says Grenny.
To make it easier to sell the idea to higher-ups, "you want your boss to see this as an informed business decision, not a charitable contribution," he says.
'My performance review was unfair'
If your annual review didn't reflect your true wonderfulness, don't stew in silence, says Joseph Grenny, an executive coach at VitalSmarts, a leadership development firm in Provo, Utah.
Even the best-intentioned leaders are so overworked in these lean times that your achievements may sometimes slip past them. Or they may blame you for a problem when there are other, fixable reasons why it's occurring.
"Saying nothing may be a bigger risk than speaking up," says Grenny.
Since a so-so (or worse) appraisal in your HR file could unfairly block you from bigger career opportunities down the road, "you need to calmly set the record straight" about specific comments or complaints you believe are inaccurate, says Grenny.
Also ask your boss to go into detail about what he or she needs from you. Try to get insights into how this manager defines a job well done, says Grenny, and be prepared to do more listening than talking.
Grenny also advises: "Ask for more frequent feedback -- maybe even once a week -- so you can make course corrections if needed, long before your next formal evaluation."
'Something shady (or illegal) is going on'
Let's hope you never work for a Bernie Madoff type. But if you discover bad deeds are happening in your company, what can you do? Say nothing to your boss, and you risk seeming complicit in the wrongdoing. Speak up and you could earn that dreaded label, "not a team player."
Luckily, you can be a whistleblower without blowing your career, says Grenny. You'll need to be diplomatic, though.
"Start the conversation by sharing your good intentions and stressing that you have the boss's best interest in mind," Grenny suggests. "Explain the negative consequences you think will follow if the behavior continues." After all, bilking customers, deceiving investors, and other dodgy practices have been known to destroy companies, taking thousands of careers straight down the tubes. Remember Enron?